War

This is another bit of old writing.  I really don't know what was going through my head at that time.  Clearly monkeys were involved.

There are some people who believe that a war is coming.  This future war will shape civilizations for centuries to come.  This will not be a war between the races of men nor a war between mankind and the technologies he carelessly unleashes upon the planet.  No, this war shall be primal and bloody.  This war shall be fought upon the very bosom of Mother Nature.  This war shall be a war between men and monkeys.

Consider that in every major city around the world there are monkeys in captivity.  They are in zoos, in laboratories, on television and in major motion pictures.  They pervade our culture, appearing in every form of media from advertising to charity appeals.  They take the form of mascots and pets.  But then consider that these so-called primitives are actually highly intelligent.  Sure, they might look cute; they might happily sit there masturbating in the zoo and eating their own shit while crowds of amused onlookers take delight from their antics.  But underneath the playful exterior, what true agenda beats in their black hearts?

World domination.

They play dumb, lulling us into a false sense of security, allowing us to connect electrodes to their testicles and conduct all manner of heinous experiments upon their bodies, but all the while they are gathering information, collecting it and relaying it back through a network of telepathic apes, for whom the pain is bearable, for they see the future and they know who will truly suffer in the long run.  All the knowledge and experience is channelled back to the One Who Knows, the mighty Star Goat who will lead the uprising, when He unleashes his War Bleat and all of Heaven will come crashing down with a Mighty Force.

So prepare for the war.  Watch the monkeys and apes, the chimps and orang-utans, the gibbons and yes, even the goats, for they are our enemies, ready to tear flesh from bone and spit our blood upon the scorched Earth.

Join us, join those who believe and who see the light.  Join the Monkey Crusade and take up arms against our mighty foes before the hour comes and it is too late.

  

Believe.