Very, very occasionally I write blog posts, usually with about the frequency that Earth experiences ice ages or direct hits from coronal mass ejections. I haven't written a post in over a year. Some people would call that lazy.
The fact is, I'm not much of a blogger. For some reason the only people that seem to read my blog are in Russia, at least according to Google. Hi comrades. I'm not sure why you read this but hey, I'm not complaining.
As I don't possess anything that vaguely resembles a readership there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of pointing writing anything, but now and then I feel the need to do so if only to structure my thoughts. This is one of those occasions.
By the way, according to autocorrect I cannot spell occasion. See, I got it wrong again even though it's the third time I've written the word in the space of five minutes.
So, what's been going on in the last year? Well, I suppose the biggest news is I became a dad in May this year. I now have a three month old daughter called Olivia. She resembles me in a lot of ways, in that she likes to burp and fart a lot, is easily amused and when she drinks too much she shits herself. That last one isn't true (at least on my part) but it was a good joke.
On the writing front, things went cold for a while because of the baby situation and also because my photography business was, and is, doing rather well. Since that pays my bills I need to make that a priority over writing. I'm in a little bit of a lull on the picture taking front until late September so I'm using that time to get back on the writing wagon.
To date I've still only published two novels: Satisfaction and Infinite Diamond. I think I've sold maybe 10 copies of Satisfaction, which really does baffle me because it's really not that bad of a book. Infinite Diamond on the other hand has sold very well, and is still selling some eighteen months after publication. This amazes me, but then it shouldn't because it's a fun book.
I have another novel, GhostWalker, which is sitting in the wings still waiting for publication. I really need to pull my finger out and launch that, but I've been putting my energies elsewhere, namely into the sequel to Infinite Diamond (ID), which is called The Eye of Andromeda (TEOA).
Generally, I hate sequels. Unless its Aliens or Godfather Part II, most of them are terrible, either rehashing the same idea or forcing a premise out of a completed story. I'm trying to avoid both of those with my sequel and it's leading to some interesting changes to my plans.
One of the things I do when I write is to come up with a basic plot and then apply characters to it and analyze what happens in the story. If the plot progression is organic and feels like something that would happen because of the characters rather than in spite of them, it stays. If it feels contrived, the plot changes and develops from the characters. That's something that's hugely important to me, especially when writing action and fantasy type material. However far fetched a scenario might be, I want it to feel as though the people in that situation are behaving as though they would and it's them driving the story rather than the other way around. Of course it's a blend of the two, but you understand what I'm getting at, don't you?
The result of this is that the while the original plot of TEOA has remained intact, quite a number of the details have been changed to make it blend much more naturally with ID and expand on the world I created there. The downside of this is that I've created a world much bigger than can be explored within the confines of this one story, and while the sequel works as a standalone piece it strongly links back to ID and it leaves a way forward to expand the story again into the next book Scorpio. It leaves me in the quandry that it is very much a middle act, or the first half of a middle act. I do think I've made it a good enough story to stand on it's on merits, but it's most definitely part of a larger story arc.
Originally, TEOA, ID and Scorpio were all independent stories set in the same universe. As I've progressed with TEOA it's become increasing apparent to me that they all are part of the same story. Perhaps they always were in my subconcious, but the more I put the stories down on paper the more ah ha! moments I have where each of the stories naturally link and layer and build into a much more intricate saga.
I hate that word by the way - saga - but it's the only word I can think of to define the overall arc I'm developing.
So I'm at the point where ID opens the story, TEOA extends that story. Scorpio then adds another layer, almost as a parallel sequel, and then finally NorthStar will complete the story arc.
Originally Scorpio, NorthStar and Nemesis were a standalone trilogy but as I've written ID and TEOA it's become very apparent that they're not. In fact, they don't need to be a trilogy at all. The middle act of that trilogy is completely redundant. I don't want to give out any spoilers in case one day you decide to read these stories but once I have them all published I'll write an explanation of how the story compressed and merged over time.
This is extremely long waffle is my way of explaining that I've revised my planned output. While I was once going to write TEOA and then leave that as a completed story along with ID, I'm now segueing it into Scorpio, and then NorthStar will bring together elements from the previous three books into a very definite conclusion. I'm not going to drag it out without a clear ending and make it up as I go along. Although I'm only 40% through writing the overall story arc, I already know how it will end, who will live and who will die and how the whole story ties together.
The only problem is at the end of my planned story, there's an obvious next story to be told. One day, it will make sense what it is. Whether or not I write it is an entirely different matter.
- Paul
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Update on writing
A busy week on the writing front. Infinite Diamond continues to sell at a decent rate, and I'm getting reviews back which is a first for me. I like reviews because it means somebody out there has taken the time to read my work. All the feedback I've had to date has been constructive and largely very positive. It's really good to know people are getting the feel I intended for work - fast paced, exciting and fun. It's easy to think it's right in your head but when someone comes along and confirms it independently it makes a huge difference. So if you have left a review, and you read this, this is for you: thank you very much.
Aside from Infinite Diamond, I've also relaunched Satisfaction: A Sociopathic Romance. This book hasn't sold anywhere near as well as Infinite Diamond, and I think the reason is that I haven't been able to find the market for it. Although I believe it's a good story and people will enjoy it, it doesn't sit anywhere as neatly as Infinite Diamond. That book is a clear sci-fi action adventure, and it's easy to market. Satisfaction is... well, it's a bit of everything: drama, suspense, comedy, romance, thriller... how do you pitch that?
The other issue with Satisfaction is that it has, or had, a lot of graphic sex and crude language. This alienated it from a large section of potential readers, but for the people who like that kind of thing, it wasn't graphic enough. I've read some 'erotica'. Wow. It's an interesting genre and definitely not one I'm aiming for, and Satisfaction really does not fit into it. So in a purely cynical move, I've excised the most graphic content and toned down a lot of the crudity. There's still cursing in there, but it's now more appropriate and purely contextual. I'm also pitching it as a contemporary romance. It will be interesting to see what this does for sales over the next few weeks.
Looking ahead, I have my final completed manuscript GhostWalker which I'm currently reviewing. This should be ready for publication by the end of the month. Once I have that out, I'll have three novels and three short stories published. Considering that until I got married I never let anybody read anything I wrote, this is pretty remarkable for me. Even if my writing career goes nowhere, I have at least achieved something with my life and nothing will ever change that.
Thanks as always
- Paul
Aside from Infinite Diamond, I've also relaunched Satisfaction: A Sociopathic Romance. This book hasn't sold anywhere near as well as Infinite Diamond, and I think the reason is that I haven't been able to find the market for it. Although I believe it's a good story and people will enjoy it, it doesn't sit anywhere as neatly as Infinite Diamond. That book is a clear sci-fi action adventure, and it's easy to market. Satisfaction is... well, it's a bit of everything: drama, suspense, comedy, romance, thriller... how do you pitch that?
The other issue with Satisfaction is that it has, or had, a lot of graphic sex and crude language. This alienated it from a large section of potential readers, but for the people who like that kind of thing, it wasn't graphic enough. I've read some 'erotica'. Wow. It's an interesting genre and definitely not one I'm aiming for, and Satisfaction really does not fit into it. So in a purely cynical move, I've excised the most graphic content and toned down a lot of the crudity. There's still cursing in there, but it's now more appropriate and purely contextual. I'm also pitching it as a contemporary romance. It will be interesting to see what this does for sales over the next few weeks.
Looking ahead, I have my final completed manuscript GhostWalker which I'm currently reviewing. This should be ready for publication by the end of the month. Once I have that out, I'll have three novels and three short stories published. Considering that until I got married I never let anybody read anything I wrote, this is pretty remarkable for me. Even if my writing career goes nowhere, I have at least achieved something with my life and nothing will ever change that.
Thanks as always
- Paul
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Infinite Diamond - an update and future plans
Well, this is a surprise. Following my promotion on KDP Select last week, Infinite Diamond has been selling at a steady pace. A week ago, I was about ready to give up writing, but this has made me change my mind.
It's the strangest feeling in the world to know there are complete strangers out there willing to pay to read a book I wrote. It's extremely odd, and I keep expecting to wake up and for it to all be a cruel dream, like that time that I owned a lightsaber.
I'm hoping that people like the book and that there's an appetite for more, so I'm working hard to get GhostWalker ready for publication. That story is a quasi-prequel to Infinite Diamond; it's an unrelated story but it's set in the same universe, and anyone who had ready ID will recognize a few familiar faces cropping up in the final act of the story.
Beyond that, I'm working on the first draft of The Eye of Andromeda, one of two direct sequels to ID. It follows the Fox brothers a few months after the events of ID, as they return to their work at Megisti and dive into a fresh adventure that brings them face to face with new challenges. It's another fast paced adventure that will appeal to readers of ID. I would like to publish it by the end of the year, but I'm going to have to pull my finger out to do that.
Until then, keep reading and all the best.
Paul
It's the strangest feeling in the world to know there are complete strangers out there willing to pay to read a book I wrote. It's extremely odd, and I keep expecting to wake up and for it to all be a cruel dream, like that time that I owned a lightsaber.
I'm hoping that people like the book and that there's an appetite for more, so I'm working hard to get GhostWalker ready for publication. That story is a quasi-prequel to Infinite Diamond; it's an unrelated story but it's set in the same universe, and anyone who had ready ID will recognize a few familiar faces cropping up in the final act of the story.
Beyond that, I'm working on the first draft of The Eye of Andromeda, one of two direct sequels to ID. It follows the Fox brothers a few months after the events of ID, as they return to their work at Megisti and dive into a fresh adventure that brings them face to face with new challenges. It's another fast paced adventure that will appeal to readers of ID. I would like to publish it by the end of the year, but I'm going to have to pull my finger out to do that.
Until then, keep reading and all the best.
Paul
Monday, July 8, 2013
Piggy in the middle
This is going to be a long post, so grab a drink and some food if you want to delve into the insanity it contains.
I don't usually blog about things that happen in my life. I write about my writing on the whole, but something happened to me last week that was so strange I had to write it down otherwise people would never believe it.
I have a friend, who for the sake of this post I will call Debbie. Debbie lives back in England, and I used to go to school with her. I kind of fell out of touch with her over the years but then we reconnected through Facebook, as I'm sure many people did. After that, we became Twitter friends, and that's where this craziness really kicked off.
Over time, I started to suspect that Debbie was a bit odd. She wasn't in any kind of stable relationship, despite being in her thirties. She was obsessed with boy bands, and boys in general. All her crushes were on people at least 10 years younger than her, but that in itself wasn't a bad thing. The thing that seemed odd to me was that she would get very attached to people online, through Twitter and various other outlets, and these people were clearly just using her. I pointed this out to her and even though she acknowledged that I was right, it made no difference. She just carried on. Sometimes she met these people and sometimes she didn't, but all these relationships ended the same way - in tears.
One of these people she grew attached to was called Bernie (also not his real name). Bernie was a bit of a player, and clearly had a string of women that he was carrying on with. Debbie and Bernie would meet up to 'have fun', but only when it suited Bernie. The rest of the time he would ignore Debbie and leave her pining, or even go out of his way to drive her away, until her turn came around again, at which point she would ignore all the preceding shit and dutifully answer his call.
That arrangement went on for a while, and she would moan to me that he was using her, but she wouldn't, or couldn't, give it up. I don't know why. Whether the physical side of things outweighed the outright shitiness, I couldn't say. I tried to stay detached, and I did for a long time, but last week I got well and truly dragged into the mess.
The problem arose because a new little fishy entered the pond. A younger, prettier fishy that was clearly a threat to Debbie's position as the easy lay. Debbie got wind of the new fishy through Snapchat. Now after playing around with Snapchat thanks to Debbie's recommendation, I can only conclude that it is the most devious and troublesome app ever invented. It allows you to send a photo with a brief caption that the receiving person can only view for a couple of seconds, and then it disappears. It's clearly designed for sending intimate or downright dubious images. When my wife found it on my phone, she was not impressed, because she automatically assumed that it was there for nefarious reasons. I explained that it was only there because of Debbie, but even then she was still highly dubious. It's safe to say that this caused some heated discussions between us.
All of the above gives you a bit of background to the events that will fill the rest of this post. What I'm going to do now is transcribe some of the text of the conversations I had, so I can show you how quickly things can spiral out of control. The whole conversation took place over roughly a 12 hour period, starting around 6.45PM in the evening EST, or 11.45 BST.
I had texted Debbie to say hi and ask how things were. Sometimes she wrote back, and sometimes she didn't. I always knew if she wrote back with more than a couple of words that there was a crisis in progress, so right from the off I knew something was going on.
Here's what kicked it off:
DEBBIE: I'm a million % convinced that everything internet based is pure evil designed to drive you to the loony bin!!! Snapchat is KILLING me at the moment haha!! I'm obsessing over people's points!! Really not good :/ Oh & I'm currently trying to stalk some random young girl & failing miserably!!! Bad!!
At this point I should have said nothing, but I was sat at home alone and I was bored so I asked:
ME: Who are you stalking? And why?
DEBBIE: Bernie's turned weird on me and I'm kinda convinced his gf dumped him and I'm kinda convinced its from Snapchat. He's completely cut me off and I think it's cos I'm his 'best friend' on SC... guess the gf questioned him and rightly so... plus an odd random girls name appeared on his list. She overtook his gf and her sister & isn't budging. I'm not stupid, I know what's going on there. All I know is she's 18 and lives here. Asked a few random guys if they'd message her to find out who she is but they refused and it's driving me INSAAANNNEEE!!!
Okay, at this point I really should have got on the boat with all the random guys and sailed off into the distance but my interest was now piqued. Plus I was bored. I read this message as being a cry for help in her stalking quest...
ME: What's her name?
DEBBIE: She's XXXXXXXXXXXX (that's redacted, CIA style, so don't try looking for that name because even if that exists, it's not her). He still seems to be snapchatting her which fucks me off massively!!! I text him today to ask what was wrong he said nothing that he was tired & busy & he's not ignoring me so I asked a question & yeah he never replied!!! Complete fucker!!!! SCREEEAMMMM!!!! He makes no sense AT ALL!!!! He's worse than a woman!
This got alarm bells ringing for me. Surely it's obvious why he wasn't replying to Debbie? The guy was completely using her! Why couldn't she see that, accept it and move on? Isn't that what most people would do? The problem with Debbie is she doesn't listen to this kind of common sense. I've tried it with her before and it makes no difference. There's no point trying to be reasonable, so....
ME: I'll add her but I doubt she will accept me. Plus she will see you're the only person on my friend's list and figure it out in one second unless she's thick as two short planks.
DEBBIE: Ooh delete me! I'll delete you then you can Snapchat her! Yes perfect!! But make sure my name is off your friends list or it will be obvious.
ME: I'll delete you now.
DEBBIE: I deleted u... Hv I gone off ur list???
ME: I deleted you so I can't tell. I don't even know what to say to this girl.
At this point I need to hold up my hand and take responsibility for some of the ensuing mess. I have no idea how to work Snapchat or look at who's friends with who. I just wanted to message this girl out of morbid curiosity, and to alleviate my boredom. In retrospect, I should have waited for the all clear from Debbie, but I'd deleted her so I figured I was good to go. I added the new fishy to my Snapchat, took a black picture and put a caption that said 'hi there' and pressed send. I expected that to be the end of it. If someone I don't know sent me a random message, I'd just block them and ignore them. Isn't that normal? Well, not for this girl. A moment later, she wrote back with a black photo asking, 'who's this?'
ME: She messaged me asking who it is.
DEBBIE: Haha!! Hv I gone off ur friends list? U should have 'best friends' at the top.
ME: You're not on there. I'll give her two minutes to block me.
DEBBIE: Haha! I really need to check you're not on my friends list. His Snapchats just went up so he's on there now. I'm convinced he's with her now. Just reply and say you're a random looking for friends.
That seemed a bit odd to me. Maybe I'm too old for this game. But I did what she said and told this girl I was a random. She asked to see my face, which seemed reasonable, so I showed her. At that point, I expected to be blocked, but no. She kept asking questions. She was suspicious. She started asking me who had put me up to contacting her. At the same point, Debbie discovered that I was still on her friends list on Snapchat and started to panic.
DEBBIE: Fuuuuccckkkkk!!!!
ME: See it's not going to work is it
DEBBIE: I thought I'd disappear!! Let me block you, see if that works.
ME: I'm having a chat with this girl, I told her a friend of mine wanted to get to know her better. It's shit, best thing I could come up with.
It really was a shit cover story, and one that didn't work well at all.
DEBBIE: That's cool!! Is she chatting back? I'm trying to block you but it won't let me!
ME: Yeah, she is. No pics but she wants to know what the hell is going on.
DEBBIE: It won't let me delete you! Is she getting shitty?
ME: No she's just curious and wants to know what's going on.
DEBBIE: Just tell her you're a random.
Now this is the point where things started to go wrong.
ME: She asked if it was Bernie's gf asking who she is.
DEBBIE: WHAAATTTT??????
ME: Yeah this is a bit fucked up. She said she doesn't know Bernie.
Clearly this little fishy had a guilty conscience, but I wasn't there to pass judgement.
DEBBIE: She clearly does know him haha!! WAAAA I WISH I COULD SEEEEE!!! His has just gone up so I think she's on to him as well... what's happening??
ME: I don't feel good doing this.
DEBBIE: Stop and block her.
That was the first and last sensible thing Debbie said. I should have done just that, but I didn't. I was having two parallel conversations, one recorded, one not, and I felt bad for this other girl who was clearly getting alarmed by the situation.
ME: She wants to know who put me up to this. I haven't said but she's going to figure it out.
DEBBIE: What have you said to that?? Tell her she's crazy and paranoid!! How can she hv jumped to that conclusion so quick?!?! Everyone gets randoms chatting to them. She's blatantly seen my name hasn't she :/
ME: Well she just asked if its Debbie so this hasn't gone all that well.
ME: Now she asked if it's Fiona (another fake name)
DEBBIE: Who the fuck is Fiona? Tell her you added me as a friend but I wouldn't talk to you. Tell her you added Fiona too. Confuse her!
ME: Yeah but now I'm gonna sound like a complete stalker!! I'm just playing dumb and saying nothing.
DEBBIE: Yeah but that's better than her knowing that it's me!!
Now this was about 90 minutes into this three way exchange with me acting as piggy in the middle, and I was starting to feel really uncomfortable. Clearly Debbie had no compunction about throwing her friend into the line of fire, which made me feel pretty shitty and made me side more with this random girl than with Debbie, who was starting to look a bit unstable to me.
ME: He's going to figure it out surely? Unless he thinks its Fiona?
DEBBIE: That's what I want him to think!! Anyone but me!! How did she get on to him in the first place?? She's definitely on to him right now... ohh Fiona is his gf's sister! Stupid me!!
ME: This girl knew Bernie has a gf. She asked if it was his gf behind it.
DEBBIE: Just out of the blue? She's either paranoid or obsessed!! Says me hahaha!!!
ME: It sounds like Bernie is surrounded by a web of paranoia and trouble.
DEBBIE: What's she saying?
ME: She wants to know what I want out of all this.
DEBBIE: Huh? She doesn't sound very bright does she!! Is she like 12??
This went on for a while, with Debbie quizzing me while mystery girl was also asking me questions on Snapchat, trying to figure out what was going on. A couple of times she asked outright if it was Debbie behind it, and I told her that I couldn't say, that I was just the messenger and that I was sorry I had gotten involved. I felt bad for her and wanted to tell her what was going on, but that would have meant betraying my friend and I couldn't do that. Eventually mystery girl gave up and said she was going to bed. At that point I figured I was off the hook and I could relax and walk away. This had been going on for over two hours, it was the early hours in England and I was ready for it to stop. I was glad when mystery girl left, but that still left me getting interrogated by Debbie for several more hours. I won't bore you with that; instead I'll jump ahead several hours to when the Snapchat friends lists updated and I disappeared from Debbie's list and she finally thought she had removed any evidence of her involvement. This point came at 11.00PM, or 4.00AM BST
DEBBIE: Well thankkkuuu a million billion times for that crazy crazy.... er what do you call it? Hmm no idea but you know what I mean! Ul hv to snapchat her random shit to keep in contact
ME: I'm going to delete her! I don't want crazy people snapchatting me! I'll delete the app. I don't even use it. Oh and the word you are looking for is 'stalking'
I was tired and irritated by this point.
DEBBIE: Please don't delete it, then it will all come back on me :(
ME: How will it come back on you?
DEBBIE: Can u just leave it a day or 2... pleeeeeeeaaassseeee????
I should have deleted it.
ME: I guess but I don't see what difference it makes, how can they know who was involved
DEBBIE: It had my name all over it last night... but now its gone I want him to see that. Just looks a bit better now I think :/
ME: What do you want out of all this? To scare this other girl off or to get Bernie?
DEBBIE: I don't want either! Just wanted to know what was going on so I knew I wasn't being strung along
ME: He's obviously stringing you along since you met him.
DEBBIE: I know I'm half asleep I don't know why I said that haha
Because it's bullshit, that's why.
DEBBIE: A young girl living here just didn't sit well.
ME: Too close to home?
DEBBIE: Yeah all the others have been miles away and older so they were only text stuff. She's 18 or whatever.
ME: You need a decent man in your life. And she said she was 25
DEBBIE: I doubt very much she's 25. I don't need any man!! Seriously!! I need a friend with benefits but I end up with a pervy nutcase! She's no more 25 than I am. Her friends on snapchat are 16/17/18
ME: Why would she say she was 25 then?
DEBBIE: If she thought you were me or Fiona she would lie to throw you off wouldn't she?
ME: Will you be pissed off if he dumps you?
DEBBIE: How can he dump me if there's nothing going on?
ME: Okay if he gets his benefits elsewhere?
DEBBIE: He was getting benefits from his gf anyway so... He's only cut me off since she fucked him off & understandably.
Yeah, Debbie is classy. Sleeping with him behind his girlfriend's back and that doesn't phase her in the slightest. This back and forth went on for a while, until 4am my time. Eventually I'd had enough and wanted sleep. My brain was frazzled. I settled down to sleep and checked my phone one last time.
There was a message on Snapchat.
It was mystery girl.
That surprised me. I hadn't expected to ever hear from her again, but what surprised me was that no more than 30 seconds after the snapchat arrived I had a message from Debbie...
DEBBIE: Has she sc'd u?!!!
ME: Yeah a minute ago. How did you know that?
That message got my back up. Now I was being stalked! This was getting ridiculous! I didn't want anything to do with either of them, I just wanted to go to sleep.
DEBBIE: I just refreshed. What did she say?
ME: She said she was going to meet Bernie today but now she's not thanks to my friend Debbie.
DEBBIE: WHAT???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ME: Her words
DEBBIE: Please please tell her you don't know me :( he'll go crazy at me :(
ME: She knows somebody is behind it
DEBBIE: Yeah but she can't think me. Please :( tell her u swear u don't know Debbie
ME: Okay
DEBBIE: Say Debbie blocked u.
She switched to third person. I thought that was a bit odd, like she was in denial and was talking about someone else rather than her.
DEBBIE: Ask if she knows who Fiona is.
DEBBIE: I think I'm going to be sick :(
ME: I said you blocked me but doesn't that kind of suggest you were behind it?
DEBBIE: Did u say u tried messaging me but i ignored u & blocked u
ME: No I said I didn't know what was going on.
DEBBIE: Say u tried for days which might explain why I was on ur list but never replied ever
ME: This is getting stupid
DEBBIE: I know!! Please just say u tried but I never replied. Ask if she knows who I am. Pleeeassseeee.
ME: She's on to you Debbie. She asked when you put me up to this.
It was now 4.30AM my time, and things were getting stupid. On one hand, I had a random stranger who had clearly worked out what was going on, even though she didn't know who I had. On the other hand, I had Debbie having a near panic attack at the thought of what this guy would do when he found out about her snooping around in his business via third parties.
Maybe I should have had more sympathy for Debbie, but by this point I didn't care. She wanted to pin it all on this other girl Fiona. She was layering lie on lie to try and get herself as far away from things and she was using me as a scapegoat so she could carry on with her sordid little affair.
I'd had enough, and made the crazy suggestion of telling the random girl the truth and he would understand eventually. Debbie was far from impressed by this idea.
DEBBIE: No way, seriously it's nothing like that with me and him. I can't cope with this, seriously please don't do this to me. I'm done if you tell her the truth.
ME: What were you expecting when all this started? This is just stupid
DEBBIE: But you can tell her she's wrong. I can't believe u wanna land me in it.
ME: I don't, that's the last thing I want.
At this point I told the random girl a new story that I hoped would solve things for Debbie, even though she barely deserved saving in my eyes. I said that there was a miss X involved, who wanted me to pin everything on Debbie to cover her own tracks. Mystery girl seemed to buy into this, but still wanted to know who miss X was. Debbie was still panicking at this point...
ME: If he's this bad why did you even want to do this?
DEBBIE: I only wanted to know who she was. Nothing wrong with that. I didn't ask for any of this.
Personally I don't agree with her sentiment, but there you go.
DEBBIE: U want her to think its me & I don't know why u'd do that.
I lost my temper at this point.
ME: Oh for fuck's sake. Why would I want her to think it's you? Don't be bloody ridiculous. I'm sitting here trying to fix this mess and protect you at 5AM. Don't give me that shit!
DEBBIE: She added me on Snapchat. For fucks sake. I need to be gone. I can't face any of this.
ME: Well I guess I'm wasting my time then.
DEBBIE: This is the worst. Is she still there?
ME: I've told her Miss X is using you as cover. So you can deny everything. Simple.
Around then mystery girl un-added Debbie from Snapchat, at which point Debbie began to believe that my cover story was working. I could literally sense her coming back down to earth and recovering from her mild panic attack, but as she did she just switched back into stalker mode again.
DEBBIE: She's blatantly 12!!!
ME: No, she's not. She's a nice looking girl in her 20s.
DEBBIE: What's she saying now?
ME: She wants to know the name of miss X
DEBBIE: So has she told u whats with him & her then?
ME: No she hasn't and I'm not asking. I'm about to quit talking to her and I want nothing more to do with this fucking insanity.
DEBBIE: Wish I could see what she looks like. Have you got a camera there to take a pic???
For fuck's sake.
ME: NO. How would I even do that? I'm sat in bed. She's a nice looking girl in her 20's. Now your spaz is over you're back in nosey mode. You bloody women are all the same. I don't know why people get divorced and remarried. Like the next one's going to be different.
She then started sending me pictures of the mystery girl, which she found on Bernie's Facebook page. I found that unsettling. If I'd been mystery girl and knew this, I'd have freaked the fuck out. If you are mystery girl and you read this, hi. I'm not coming to kill you. I can't say the same for Debbie, though.
ME: Okay stop stalking now.
Right at that moment, Bernie texted her to ask: Something u wanna tell me???? Snapchatting someone whos on my list..
DEBBIE: I knew she'd tell him I fuckin knew it!!!!!!!!!
Debbie then went on to tell Bernie that some psycho had been stalking her and causing all this trouble. By that, she meant me. Frankly, at that point, I was done. I sent a few more messages through the day checking on Debbie, asking her what had happened. It turned out Bernie cut her off, and blocked her completely. I can't say I'm surprised. Despite saying that she had no interest in this guy, and only a passing interest in the mystery girl, she was clearly lying on both counts. Once my part was played, I was suddenly dumped to one side. I ended up blocking Debbie and cutting off contact. Mystery girl blocked me, never having found out who Miss X was.
I guess I had a part to play in this mess. I wasn't invested in Debbie's game and I didn't think what she was doing was right, whichever way you looked at it. I was the wrong person to message mystery girl. I didn't go out of my way to drop Debbie in it, but mystery girl was not the 12 year old bimbo that Debbie was picturing. She was a bright, switched on girl who figured things out pretty quickly on her own. Clearly she had a guilty conscience about getting up to whatever she was getting up to with Bernie, and it was that that triggered off the nights events and ultimately brought an end to Debbie's fun.
I hope she's okay, I really do. I don't agree with what she was up to, but it's not my place to judge her. I know she pins the blame for Bernie dumping her squarely on me, but at no point did she want to admit that she was in the wrong with any of her actions. If she had, maybe I'd have come up with a better cover story. Maybe my views clouded my judgement and I subconsciously wanted her to stop messing around with a guy who was hurting not only his girlfriend but Debbie and who knows how many other girls. I didn't make a deliberate decision for that to happen, but maybe a part of me wanted it to.
The upshot is, if you need someone to do your dirty work for you, I'm definitely not your guy.
=========================================
I don't usually blog about things that happen in my life. I write about my writing on the whole, but something happened to me last week that was so strange I had to write it down otherwise people would never believe it.
I have a friend, who for the sake of this post I will call Debbie. Debbie lives back in England, and I used to go to school with her. I kind of fell out of touch with her over the years but then we reconnected through Facebook, as I'm sure many people did. After that, we became Twitter friends, and that's where this craziness really kicked off.
Over time, I started to suspect that Debbie was a bit odd. She wasn't in any kind of stable relationship, despite being in her thirties. She was obsessed with boy bands, and boys in general. All her crushes were on people at least 10 years younger than her, but that in itself wasn't a bad thing. The thing that seemed odd to me was that she would get very attached to people online, through Twitter and various other outlets, and these people were clearly just using her. I pointed this out to her and even though she acknowledged that I was right, it made no difference. She just carried on. Sometimes she met these people and sometimes she didn't, but all these relationships ended the same way - in tears.
One of these people she grew attached to was called Bernie (also not his real name). Bernie was a bit of a player, and clearly had a string of women that he was carrying on with. Debbie and Bernie would meet up to 'have fun', but only when it suited Bernie. The rest of the time he would ignore Debbie and leave her pining, or even go out of his way to drive her away, until her turn came around again, at which point she would ignore all the preceding shit and dutifully answer his call.
That arrangement went on for a while, and she would moan to me that he was using her, but she wouldn't, or couldn't, give it up. I don't know why. Whether the physical side of things outweighed the outright shitiness, I couldn't say. I tried to stay detached, and I did for a long time, but last week I got well and truly dragged into the mess.
The problem arose because a new little fishy entered the pond. A younger, prettier fishy that was clearly a threat to Debbie's position as the easy lay. Debbie got wind of the new fishy through Snapchat. Now after playing around with Snapchat thanks to Debbie's recommendation, I can only conclude that it is the most devious and troublesome app ever invented. It allows you to send a photo with a brief caption that the receiving person can only view for a couple of seconds, and then it disappears. It's clearly designed for sending intimate or downright dubious images. When my wife found it on my phone, she was not impressed, because she automatically assumed that it was there for nefarious reasons. I explained that it was only there because of Debbie, but even then she was still highly dubious. It's safe to say that this caused some heated discussions between us.
All of the above gives you a bit of background to the events that will fill the rest of this post. What I'm going to do now is transcribe some of the text of the conversations I had, so I can show you how quickly things can spiral out of control. The whole conversation took place over roughly a 12 hour period, starting around 6.45PM in the evening EST, or 11.45 BST.
I had texted Debbie to say hi and ask how things were. Sometimes she wrote back, and sometimes she didn't. I always knew if she wrote back with more than a couple of words that there was a crisis in progress, so right from the off I knew something was going on.
Here's what kicked it off:
DEBBIE: I'm a million % convinced that everything internet based is pure evil designed to drive you to the loony bin!!! Snapchat is KILLING me at the moment haha!! I'm obsessing over people's points!! Really not good :/ Oh & I'm currently trying to stalk some random young girl & failing miserably!!! Bad!!
At this point I should have said nothing, but I was sat at home alone and I was bored so I asked:
ME: Who are you stalking? And why?
DEBBIE: Bernie's turned weird on me and I'm kinda convinced his gf dumped him and I'm kinda convinced its from Snapchat. He's completely cut me off and I think it's cos I'm his 'best friend' on SC... guess the gf questioned him and rightly so... plus an odd random girls name appeared on his list. She overtook his gf and her sister & isn't budging. I'm not stupid, I know what's going on there. All I know is she's 18 and lives here. Asked a few random guys if they'd message her to find out who she is but they refused and it's driving me INSAAANNNEEE!!!
Okay, at this point I really should have got on the boat with all the random guys and sailed off into the distance but my interest was now piqued. Plus I was bored. I read this message as being a cry for help in her stalking quest...
ME: What's her name?
DEBBIE: She's XXXXXXXXXXXX (that's redacted, CIA style, so don't try looking for that name because even if that exists, it's not her). He still seems to be snapchatting her which fucks me off massively!!! I text him today to ask what was wrong he said nothing that he was tired & busy & he's not ignoring me so I asked a question & yeah he never replied!!! Complete fucker!!!! SCREEEAMMMM!!!! He makes no sense AT ALL!!!! He's worse than a woman!
This got alarm bells ringing for me. Surely it's obvious why he wasn't replying to Debbie? The guy was completely using her! Why couldn't she see that, accept it and move on? Isn't that what most people would do? The problem with Debbie is she doesn't listen to this kind of common sense. I've tried it with her before and it makes no difference. There's no point trying to be reasonable, so....
ME: I'll add her but I doubt she will accept me. Plus she will see you're the only person on my friend's list and figure it out in one second unless she's thick as two short planks.
DEBBIE: Ooh delete me! I'll delete you then you can Snapchat her! Yes perfect!! But make sure my name is off your friends list or it will be obvious.
ME: I'll delete you now.
DEBBIE: I deleted u... Hv I gone off ur list???
ME: I deleted you so I can't tell. I don't even know what to say to this girl.
At this point I need to hold up my hand and take responsibility for some of the ensuing mess. I have no idea how to work Snapchat or look at who's friends with who. I just wanted to message this girl out of morbid curiosity, and to alleviate my boredom. In retrospect, I should have waited for the all clear from Debbie, but I'd deleted her so I figured I was good to go. I added the new fishy to my Snapchat, took a black picture and put a caption that said 'hi there' and pressed send. I expected that to be the end of it. If someone I don't know sent me a random message, I'd just block them and ignore them. Isn't that normal? Well, not for this girl. A moment later, she wrote back with a black photo asking, 'who's this?'
ME: She messaged me asking who it is.
DEBBIE: Haha!! Hv I gone off ur friends list? U should have 'best friends' at the top.
ME: You're not on there. I'll give her two minutes to block me.
DEBBIE: Haha! I really need to check you're not on my friends list. His Snapchats just went up so he's on there now. I'm convinced he's with her now. Just reply and say you're a random looking for friends.
That seemed a bit odd to me. Maybe I'm too old for this game. But I did what she said and told this girl I was a random. She asked to see my face, which seemed reasonable, so I showed her. At that point, I expected to be blocked, but no. She kept asking questions. She was suspicious. She started asking me who had put me up to contacting her. At the same point, Debbie discovered that I was still on her friends list on Snapchat and started to panic.
DEBBIE: Fuuuuccckkkkk!!!!
ME: See it's not going to work is it
DEBBIE: I thought I'd disappear!! Let me block you, see if that works.
ME: I'm having a chat with this girl, I told her a friend of mine wanted to get to know her better. It's shit, best thing I could come up with.
It really was a shit cover story, and one that didn't work well at all.
DEBBIE: That's cool!! Is she chatting back? I'm trying to block you but it won't let me!
ME: Yeah, she is. No pics but she wants to know what the hell is going on.
DEBBIE: It won't let me delete you! Is she getting shitty?
ME: No she's just curious and wants to know what's going on.
DEBBIE: Just tell her you're a random.
Now this is the point where things started to go wrong.
ME: She asked if it was Bernie's gf asking who she is.
DEBBIE: WHAAATTTT??????
ME: Yeah this is a bit fucked up. She said she doesn't know Bernie.
Clearly this little fishy had a guilty conscience, but I wasn't there to pass judgement.
DEBBIE: She clearly does know him haha!! WAAAA I WISH I COULD SEEEEE!!! His has just gone up so I think she's on to him as well... what's happening??
ME: I don't feel good doing this.
DEBBIE: Stop and block her.
That was the first and last sensible thing Debbie said. I should have done just that, but I didn't. I was having two parallel conversations, one recorded, one not, and I felt bad for this other girl who was clearly getting alarmed by the situation.
ME: She wants to know who put me up to this. I haven't said but she's going to figure it out.
DEBBIE: What have you said to that?? Tell her she's crazy and paranoid!! How can she hv jumped to that conclusion so quick?!?! Everyone gets randoms chatting to them. She's blatantly seen my name hasn't she :/
ME: Well she just asked if its Debbie so this hasn't gone all that well.
ME: Now she asked if it's Fiona (another fake name)
DEBBIE: Who the fuck is Fiona? Tell her you added me as a friend but I wouldn't talk to you. Tell her you added Fiona too. Confuse her!
ME: Yeah but now I'm gonna sound like a complete stalker!! I'm just playing dumb and saying nothing.
DEBBIE: Yeah but that's better than her knowing that it's me!!
Now this was about 90 minutes into this three way exchange with me acting as piggy in the middle, and I was starting to feel really uncomfortable. Clearly Debbie had no compunction about throwing her friend into the line of fire, which made me feel pretty shitty and made me side more with this random girl than with Debbie, who was starting to look a bit unstable to me.
ME: He's going to figure it out surely? Unless he thinks its Fiona?
DEBBIE: That's what I want him to think!! Anyone but me!! How did she get on to him in the first place?? She's definitely on to him right now... ohh Fiona is his gf's sister! Stupid me!!
ME: This girl knew Bernie has a gf. She asked if it was his gf behind it.
DEBBIE: Just out of the blue? She's either paranoid or obsessed!! Says me hahaha!!!
ME: It sounds like Bernie is surrounded by a web of paranoia and trouble.
DEBBIE: What's she saying?
ME: She wants to know what I want out of all this.
DEBBIE: Huh? She doesn't sound very bright does she!! Is she like 12??
This went on for a while, with Debbie quizzing me while mystery girl was also asking me questions on Snapchat, trying to figure out what was going on. A couple of times she asked outright if it was Debbie behind it, and I told her that I couldn't say, that I was just the messenger and that I was sorry I had gotten involved. I felt bad for her and wanted to tell her what was going on, but that would have meant betraying my friend and I couldn't do that. Eventually mystery girl gave up and said she was going to bed. At that point I figured I was off the hook and I could relax and walk away. This had been going on for over two hours, it was the early hours in England and I was ready for it to stop. I was glad when mystery girl left, but that still left me getting interrogated by Debbie for several more hours. I won't bore you with that; instead I'll jump ahead several hours to when the Snapchat friends lists updated and I disappeared from Debbie's list and she finally thought she had removed any evidence of her involvement. This point came at 11.00PM, or 4.00AM BST
DEBBIE: Well thankkkuuu a million billion times for that crazy crazy.... er what do you call it? Hmm no idea but you know what I mean! Ul hv to snapchat her random shit to keep in contact
ME: I'm going to delete her! I don't want crazy people snapchatting me! I'll delete the app. I don't even use it. Oh and the word you are looking for is 'stalking'
I was tired and irritated by this point.
DEBBIE: Please don't delete it, then it will all come back on me :(
ME: How will it come back on you?
DEBBIE: Can u just leave it a day or 2... pleeeeeeeaaassseeee????
I should have deleted it.
ME: I guess but I don't see what difference it makes, how can they know who was involved
DEBBIE: It had my name all over it last night... but now its gone I want him to see that. Just looks a bit better now I think :/
ME: What do you want out of all this? To scare this other girl off or to get Bernie?
DEBBIE: I don't want either! Just wanted to know what was going on so I knew I wasn't being strung along
ME: He's obviously stringing you along since you met him.
DEBBIE: I know I'm half asleep I don't know why I said that haha
Because it's bullshit, that's why.
DEBBIE: A young girl living here just didn't sit well.
ME: Too close to home?
DEBBIE: Yeah all the others have been miles away and older so they were only text stuff. She's 18 or whatever.
ME: You need a decent man in your life. And she said she was 25
DEBBIE: I doubt very much she's 25. I don't need any man!! Seriously!! I need a friend with benefits but I end up with a pervy nutcase! She's no more 25 than I am. Her friends on snapchat are 16/17/18
ME: Why would she say she was 25 then?
DEBBIE: If she thought you were me or Fiona she would lie to throw you off wouldn't she?
ME: Will you be pissed off if he dumps you?
DEBBIE: How can he dump me if there's nothing going on?
ME: Okay if he gets his benefits elsewhere?
DEBBIE: He was getting benefits from his gf anyway so... He's only cut me off since she fucked him off & understandably.
Yeah, Debbie is classy. Sleeping with him behind his girlfriend's back and that doesn't phase her in the slightest. This back and forth went on for a while, until 4am my time. Eventually I'd had enough and wanted sleep. My brain was frazzled. I settled down to sleep and checked my phone one last time.
There was a message on Snapchat.
It was mystery girl.
That surprised me. I hadn't expected to ever hear from her again, but what surprised me was that no more than 30 seconds after the snapchat arrived I had a message from Debbie...
DEBBIE: Has she sc'd u?!!!
ME: Yeah a minute ago. How did you know that?
That message got my back up. Now I was being stalked! This was getting ridiculous! I didn't want anything to do with either of them, I just wanted to go to sleep.
DEBBIE: I just refreshed. What did she say?
ME: She said she was going to meet Bernie today but now she's not thanks to my friend Debbie.
DEBBIE: WHAT???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ME: Her words
DEBBIE: Please please tell her you don't know me :( he'll go crazy at me :(
ME: She knows somebody is behind it
DEBBIE: Yeah but she can't think me. Please :( tell her u swear u don't know Debbie
ME: Okay
DEBBIE: Say Debbie blocked u.
She switched to third person. I thought that was a bit odd, like she was in denial and was talking about someone else rather than her.
DEBBIE: Ask if she knows who Fiona is.
DEBBIE: I think I'm going to be sick :(
ME: I said you blocked me but doesn't that kind of suggest you were behind it?
DEBBIE: Did u say u tried messaging me but i ignored u & blocked u
ME: No I said I didn't know what was going on.
DEBBIE: Say u tried for days which might explain why I was on ur list but never replied ever
ME: This is getting stupid
DEBBIE: I know!! Please just say u tried but I never replied. Ask if she knows who I am. Pleeeassseeee.
ME: She's on to you Debbie. She asked when you put me up to this.
It was now 4.30AM my time, and things were getting stupid. On one hand, I had a random stranger who had clearly worked out what was going on, even though she didn't know who I had. On the other hand, I had Debbie having a near panic attack at the thought of what this guy would do when he found out about her snooping around in his business via third parties.
Maybe I should have had more sympathy for Debbie, but by this point I didn't care. She wanted to pin it all on this other girl Fiona. She was layering lie on lie to try and get herself as far away from things and she was using me as a scapegoat so she could carry on with her sordid little affair.
I'd had enough, and made the crazy suggestion of telling the random girl the truth and he would understand eventually. Debbie was far from impressed by this idea.
DEBBIE: No way, seriously it's nothing like that with me and him. I can't cope with this, seriously please don't do this to me. I'm done if you tell her the truth.
ME: What were you expecting when all this started? This is just stupid
DEBBIE: But you can tell her she's wrong. I can't believe u wanna land me in it.
ME: I don't, that's the last thing I want.
At this point I told the random girl a new story that I hoped would solve things for Debbie, even though she barely deserved saving in my eyes. I said that there was a miss X involved, who wanted me to pin everything on Debbie to cover her own tracks. Mystery girl seemed to buy into this, but still wanted to know who miss X was. Debbie was still panicking at this point...
ME: If he's this bad why did you even want to do this?
DEBBIE: I only wanted to know who she was. Nothing wrong with that. I didn't ask for any of this.
Personally I don't agree with her sentiment, but there you go.
DEBBIE: U want her to think its me & I don't know why u'd do that.
I lost my temper at this point.
ME: Oh for fuck's sake. Why would I want her to think it's you? Don't be bloody ridiculous. I'm sitting here trying to fix this mess and protect you at 5AM. Don't give me that shit!
DEBBIE: She added me on Snapchat. For fucks sake. I need to be gone. I can't face any of this.
ME: Well I guess I'm wasting my time then.
DEBBIE: This is the worst. Is she still there?
ME: I've told her Miss X is using you as cover. So you can deny everything. Simple.
Around then mystery girl un-added Debbie from Snapchat, at which point Debbie began to believe that my cover story was working. I could literally sense her coming back down to earth and recovering from her mild panic attack, but as she did she just switched back into stalker mode again.
DEBBIE: She's blatantly 12!!!
ME: No, she's not. She's a nice looking girl in her 20s.
DEBBIE: What's she saying now?
ME: She wants to know the name of miss X
DEBBIE: So has she told u whats with him & her then?
ME: No she hasn't and I'm not asking. I'm about to quit talking to her and I want nothing more to do with this fucking insanity.
DEBBIE: Wish I could see what she looks like. Have you got a camera there to take a pic???
For fuck's sake.
ME: NO. How would I even do that? I'm sat in bed. She's a nice looking girl in her 20's. Now your spaz is over you're back in nosey mode. You bloody women are all the same. I don't know why people get divorced and remarried. Like the next one's going to be different.
She then started sending me pictures of the mystery girl, which she found on Bernie's Facebook page. I found that unsettling. If I'd been mystery girl and knew this, I'd have freaked the fuck out. If you are mystery girl and you read this, hi. I'm not coming to kill you. I can't say the same for Debbie, though.
ME: Okay stop stalking now.
Right at that moment, Bernie texted her to ask: Something u wanna tell me???? Snapchatting someone whos on my list..
DEBBIE: I knew she'd tell him I fuckin knew it!!!!!!!!!
Debbie then went on to tell Bernie that some psycho had been stalking her and causing all this trouble. By that, she meant me. Frankly, at that point, I was done. I sent a few more messages through the day checking on Debbie, asking her what had happened. It turned out Bernie cut her off, and blocked her completely. I can't say I'm surprised. Despite saying that she had no interest in this guy, and only a passing interest in the mystery girl, she was clearly lying on both counts. Once my part was played, I was suddenly dumped to one side. I ended up blocking Debbie and cutting off contact. Mystery girl blocked me, never having found out who Miss X was.
I guess I had a part to play in this mess. I wasn't invested in Debbie's game and I didn't think what she was doing was right, whichever way you looked at it. I was the wrong person to message mystery girl. I didn't go out of my way to drop Debbie in it, but mystery girl was not the 12 year old bimbo that Debbie was picturing. She was a bright, switched on girl who figured things out pretty quickly on her own. Clearly she had a guilty conscience about getting up to whatever she was getting up to with Bernie, and it was that that triggered off the nights events and ultimately brought an end to Debbie's fun.
I hope she's okay, I really do. I don't agree with what she was up to, but it's not my place to judge her. I know she pins the blame for Bernie dumping her squarely on me, but at no point did she want to admit that she was in the wrong with any of her actions. If she had, maybe I'd have come up with a better cover story. Maybe my views clouded my judgement and I subconsciously wanted her to stop messing around with a guy who was hurting not only his girlfriend but Debbie and who knows how many other girls. I didn't make a deliberate decision for that to happen, but maybe a part of me wanted it to.
The upshot is, if you need someone to do your dirty work for you, I'm definitely not your guy.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
More needly things
My last post was a moan about self publishing and what an utter pain in the arse it is trying to get reviews of your work. My theory is, and I might be completely wrong here, that reviews equal sales, and good reviews equal great sales. Getting those reviews is proving really hard, though.
The promotion for my second published novel Infinite Diamond ended last night, and I've looked at the figures in comparison to my first novel Satisfaction.
INFINITE DIAMOND
pre-promotion sales: 1 :: reviews: 0
promotional (free copies) sales: 472 :: reviews: 0
post-promotional sales (so far): 0 :: reviews: 0
SATISFACTION
pre-promotion sales: 1 :: reviews: 0
promotional (free copies) sales: 333 :: reviews: 0
post-promotional sales (so far): 0 :: reviews: 0
So I can see that I shifted a few more copies of Infinite Diamond than Satisfaction over the same period, but not enough to say that it's all that different. And in terms of reviews and sales, there's no difference at all. I can't even say giving away free copies is worth it because it doesn't seem to generate sales. I guess I can wait a month or so and see what happens but at the moment I'm a bit baffled. Of course, one possibility is that my books are just a load of boring crap that nobody wants to read. To my mind, that's the most obvious explanation.
I'll keep checking back on my sales (or lack thereof) over the next few months while I prepare my next novel Ghostwalker for publication. Maybe something will happen. I'll probably lose all control of my bladder if it does.
Thanks as always,
- Paul
INFINITE DIAMOND (sci-fi action adventure novel)
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DK2E94S
Amazon.co.uk: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00DK2E94S
Createspace: https://www.createspace.com/4332151
The promotion for my second published novel Infinite Diamond ended last night, and I've looked at the figures in comparison to my first novel Satisfaction.
INFINITE DIAMOND
pre-promotion sales: 1 :: reviews: 0
promotional (free copies) sales: 472 :: reviews: 0
post-promotional sales (so far): 0 :: reviews: 0
SATISFACTION
pre-promotion sales: 1 :: reviews: 0
promotional (free copies) sales: 333 :: reviews: 0
post-promotional sales (so far): 0 :: reviews: 0
So I can see that I shifted a few more copies of Infinite Diamond than Satisfaction over the same period, but not enough to say that it's all that different. And in terms of reviews and sales, there's no difference at all. I can't even say giving away free copies is worth it because it doesn't seem to generate sales. I guess I can wait a month or so and see what happens but at the moment I'm a bit baffled. Of course, one possibility is that my books are just a load of boring crap that nobody wants to read. To my mind, that's the most obvious explanation.
I'll keep checking back on my sales (or lack thereof) over the next few months while I prepare my next novel Ghostwalker for publication. Maybe something will happen. I'll probably lose all control of my bladder if it does.
Thanks as always,
- Paul
INFINITE DIAMOND (sci-fi action adventure novel)
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DK2E94S
Amazon.co.uk: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00DK2E94S
Createspace: https://www.createspace.com/4332151
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
The proverbial needle in a haystack
I've just published my second novel, Infinite Diamond, on Amazon. As with Satisfaction, I enrolled this book in KDP Select as it gives me access to the widest possible reader base. It also allows me to promote the book by giving away free copies for 5 days out of every 90 days. I figured this would be useful to get copies of my books out there and to generate some form of interest. The logic seems to be that you give away so many books that a groundswell of interest is created that then translates into sales once the promotion ends. It also gives people a chance to leave reviews, which in turn generate sales.
Neither of these things seem to have happened.
Now I will freely admit to being a complete novice at this self-publishing lark, but I kind of imagined that there would be a little more post-promotion activity. In short, here's whats happened with Satisfaction:
pre-promotion sales: 1 :: reviews: 0
promotional (free copies) sales: 333 :: reviews: 0
post-promotional sales (so far): 0 :: reviews: 0
The promotion ended a couple of weeks ago, so what this tells me is that giving away free copies does nothing to help sales or reviews. Even one review from 333 copies would be less than 0.3% of the readership showing enough interest to say, "Yeah, I liked it," or "Wow, I wouldn't even use this as toilet paper in an emergency."
This is frustrating and also baffling.
Being a logical minded sort of person, I've decided to follow the same method with Infinite Diamond, so I can do some kind of analysis. Maybe the first book just wasn't what's popular right now, or maybe I'm doing something completely wrong? I don't know, but by putting my second title through the same process I'll be able to see any trends that develop.
The promotion for Infinite Diamond is currently underway, and it ends on June 28th, so I'll update this post then. In the meantime, I'm going to stare at my computer hitting refresh every thirty seconds in the hope that something, anything, changes. It's kind of like eBay, only more personal.
If you're interested, below are links to Infinite Diamond.
Thanks as always,
- Paul
INFINITE DIAMOND (sci-fi action adventure novel)
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DK2E94S
Amazon.co.uk: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00DK2E94S
Createspace: https://www.createspace.com/4332151
Neither of these things seem to have happened.
Now I will freely admit to being a complete novice at this self-publishing lark, but I kind of imagined that there would be a little more post-promotion activity. In short, here's whats happened with Satisfaction:
pre-promotion sales: 1 :: reviews: 0
promotional (free copies) sales: 333 :: reviews: 0
post-promotional sales (so far): 0 :: reviews: 0
The promotion ended a couple of weeks ago, so what this tells me is that giving away free copies does nothing to help sales or reviews. Even one review from 333 copies would be less than 0.3% of the readership showing enough interest to say, "Yeah, I liked it," or "Wow, I wouldn't even use this as toilet paper in an emergency."
This is frustrating and also baffling.
Being a logical minded sort of person, I've decided to follow the same method with Infinite Diamond, so I can do some kind of analysis. Maybe the first book just wasn't what's popular right now, or maybe I'm doing something completely wrong? I don't know, but by putting my second title through the same process I'll be able to see any trends that develop.
The promotion for Infinite Diamond is currently underway, and it ends on June 28th, so I'll update this post then. In the meantime, I'm going to stare at my computer hitting refresh every thirty seconds in the hope that something, anything, changes. It's kind of like eBay, only more personal.
If you're interested, below are links to Infinite Diamond.
Thanks as always,
- Paul
INFINITE DIAMOND (sci-fi action adventure novel)
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DK2E94S
Amazon.co.uk: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00DK2E94S
Createspace: https://www.createspace.com/4332151
Monday, June 3, 2013
Shameless, unadulterated plugging
I haven't done much in the way of writing for a few months. I've been busy with my photography, which has been going very well, and I haven't had any time to sit down and put pen to paper (or more accurately, fingers to keys).
Last week I published my third short story, Stormfront. This one is a small slice of space opera, and it is so far my most successful story. I have no idea why. I don't know if it's a popular genre, if it's being listed in the right category or if it's got an interesting cover. Whatever the reason, it's selling faster than anything else I've written.
To date all the stories I've published have been unrelated and, for the most part, from different genres. I do tend to lean more towards sci-fi. I can't help it; it's what I like. The upcoming novels I have ready to sell are a thriller and a sci-fi action adventure. I can't publish them until I have them proofread and I can't do that without paying for the service. I need to shift about 1,000 copies of my stories to fund any more novels. I really like the stories and I want to publish them. It's just going to take some time.
So in order to push my work, I'm listing the links to all my stories, both on Amazon and Smashwords. The first half of all the stories are available for free; if you want to know how they finish, it will cost you 99c for each. That's it.
SATISFACTION (confessional adult thriller, novel - definitely not for kids!)
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/280265
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B7WJPEW
Amazon.co.uk: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00B7WJPEW
STORMFRONT (sci-fi short story, space opera)
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/320088
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D4ROJGW
Amazon.co.uk: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00D4ROJGW
TRICKSTER (confessional short story)
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/281171
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B97R4BQ
Amazon.co.uk: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00B97R4BQ
TRAVEL OPPORTUNITIES (sci-fi short story)
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/282269
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BB2EVVU
Amazon.co.uk: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00BB2EVVU
Please do check these out, and if you like them, let me know. If you hate them, let me know too. I can take it.
- Paul
Last week I published my third short story, Stormfront. This one is a small slice of space opera, and it is so far my most successful story. I have no idea why. I don't know if it's a popular genre, if it's being listed in the right category or if it's got an interesting cover. Whatever the reason, it's selling faster than anything else I've written.
To date all the stories I've published have been unrelated and, for the most part, from different genres. I do tend to lean more towards sci-fi. I can't help it; it's what I like. The upcoming novels I have ready to sell are a thriller and a sci-fi action adventure. I can't publish them until I have them proofread and I can't do that without paying for the service. I need to shift about 1,000 copies of my stories to fund any more novels. I really like the stories and I want to publish them. It's just going to take some time.
So in order to push my work, I'm listing the links to all my stories, both on Amazon and Smashwords. The first half of all the stories are available for free; if you want to know how they finish, it will cost you 99c for each. That's it.
SATISFACTION (confessional adult thriller, novel - definitely not for kids!)
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/280265
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B7WJPEW
Amazon.co.uk: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00B7WJPEW
STORMFRONT (sci-fi short story, space opera)
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/320088
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D4ROJGW
Amazon.co.uk: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00D4ROJGW
TRICKSTER (confessional short story)
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/281171
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B97R4BQ
Amazon.co.uk: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00B97R4BQ
TRAVEL OPPORTUNITIES (sci-fi short story)
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/282269
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BB2EVVU
Amazon.co.uk: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00BB2EVVU
Please do check these out, and if you like them, let me know. If you hate them, let me know too. I can take it.
- Paul
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Get over it
Last Saturday I photographed my first gay wedding. I didn't know it was a gay wedding until I was on my way; I found out when the other photographer I was meeting texted to let me know there would be two brides. My reply was simply, 'Oh, ok.'
It seems a bit strange to me but apparently a lot of people were freaked out by this wedding. The venue I shot at doesn't want any publicity about it. Other people have made comments about how you need 'an open mind' and 'a big heart' to deal with such an event.
For fuck's sake. This is the 21st century. Who cares? If two people love each other and want to make the same lifelong commitment as anyone else, why shouldn't they be allowed to? Who gives a shit what they want to do with each other? Don't give me that shit about it being in the Bible. So is stoning people for having affairs and if we enforced that one then most of the people I know would be dead.
Honestly I was totally unfazed by the whole event. I did notice that there was no first kiss or much smooching at all during the event. I'm sure this was done deliberately so as not to offend some of the older relatives that were there. Some people don't like things that make them awkward or uncomfortable shoved in their face. I get that, so kudos to the brides for making that decision. That level of thoughtful planning just makes me all the more irritated that people are being all self-righteous about the event. Part of me wishes they had put on some kind of BDSM routine for their first dance or invited all the single guys up to play the soggy biscuit game in the middle of the dancefloor. It was really a very tasteful, well organized and sanitized almost to the point of blandness event. In short, there was nothing to offend anyone, which is why people being offended by it is bugging me so much. Get over it, old people. The fact is, you signed contracts with a client, so you can't suddenly get all fussy about it because people are gossiping about it. Grow some love spuds and stand up for yourselves. People will respect you far more for it.
As you may be able to tell, bigotry and downright ignorance are a couple of things that irritate me immensely. I'm not pro-gay rights or anti-old, stupid white people. I just don't see why people care so much about other people's lives. In short, get over it.
It seems a bit strange to me but apparently a lot of people were freaked out by this wedding. The venue I shot at doesn't want any publicity about it. Other people have made comments about how you need 'an open mind' and 'a big heart' to deal with such an event.
For fuck's sake. This is the 21st century. Who cares? If two people love each other and want to make the same lifelong commitment as anyone else, why shouldn't they be allowed to? Who gives a shit what they want to do with each other? Don't give me that shit about it being in the Bible. So is stoning people for having affairs and if we enforced that one then most of the people I know would be dead.
Honestly I was totally unfazed by the whole event. I did notice that there was no first kiss or much smooching at all during the event. I'm sure this was done deliberately so as not to offend some of the older relatives that were there. Some people don't like things that make them awkward or uncomfortable shoved in their face. I get that, so kudos to the brides for making that decision. That level of thoughtful planning just makes me all the more irritated that people are being all self-righteous about the event. Part of me wishes they had put on some kind of BDSM routine for their first dance or invited all the single guys up to play the soggy biscuit game in the middle of the dancefloor. It was really a very tasteful, well organized and sanitized almost to the point of blandness event. In short, there was nothing to offend anyone, which is why people being offended by it is bugging me so much. Get over it, old people. The fact is, you signed contracts with a client, so you can't suddenly get all fussy about it because people are gossiping about it. Grow some love spuds and stand up for yourselves. People will respect you far more for it.
As you may be able to tell, bigotry and downright ignorance are a couple of things that irritate me immensely. I'm not pro-gay rights or anti-old, stupid white people. I just don't see why people care so much about other people's lives. In short, get over it.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
If you go down to the woods today...
Today is quite an important day for me. After a few (20) years of fiddling around with writing, starting stories and forgetting to finish them and coming up with ideas that never make it beyond a scrap of paper, I finally published a novel.
I say published in the loosest possible sense. E-published I suppose is more accurate. It's the future you know; ebooks supposedly make up 30% of book sales in the US now. To me though, unless you can hold a book in your hand, it's just not the same.
I suppose I shouldn't be talking like that, because it's demeaning what I've achieved. I wrote a book. A real book, that doesn't exist anywhere else in the world. Nobody else wrote that story, or created those characters. It all came from me. It's unique. It means I have left a mark on the world, no matter how small or insignificant it might be. Nobody can ever take that away.
I've no idea how this publishing thing is going to go. A large part of me believes it will fall flat on it's face and go nowhere and it will just become some kind of embarrassing side note to my life that's better left forgotten. A small part of me thinks it might just be the start of something amazing.
The thing is, I know my writing isn't that bad. There's no reason my book shouldn't sell, and there's no reason I shouldn't be able to publish the other two manuscripts I have completed this year. There's no reason I shouldn't be able to write the five stories I have in development at the moment. In another couple of years I could have published 8 books. That would be a dream come true, particularly if they became self-sustaining and generated enough revenue so that I could write and make a decent living, but I know that's just a dream for now.
Incidentally, the book I published today is Satisfaction: A Sociopathic Romance. I published a large chunk of an earlier draft on this blog a while ago. It's still there if you wanted to take a look. If you wanted to buy a copy of the finished version and compare the two, then you know that would be very nice of you.
For the first month, Satisfaction is available at 50% off, just $1.49, with the following coupon: MH93C. It's valid until March 1st 2013. You can find my book here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/280265 … It will also be on Amazon in the next day or two.
Who knows where this will lead. Somewhere? Nowhere? Round and round in circling futility? Your guess is as good as mine.
Thanks for reading
Paul
I say published in the loosest possible sense. E-published I suppose is more accurate. It's the future you know; ebooks supposedly make up 30% of book sales in the US now. To me though, unless you can hold a book in your hand, it's just not the same.
I suppose I shouldn't be talking like that, because it's demeaning what I've achieved. I wrote a book. A real book, that doesn't exist anywhere else in the world. Nobody else wrote that story, or created those characters. It all came from me. It's unique. It means I have left a mark on the world, no matter how small or insignificant it might be. Nobody can ever take that away.
I've no idea how this publishing thing is going to go. A large part of me believes it will fall flat on it's face and go nowhere and it will just become some kind of embarrassing side note to my life that's better left forgotten. A small part of me thinks it might just be the start of something amazing.
The thing is, I know my writing isn't that bad. There's no reason my book shouldn't sell, and there's no reason I shouldn't be able to publish the other two manuscripts I have completed this year. There's no reason I shouldn't be able to write the five stories I have in development at the moment. In another couple of years I could have published 8 books. That would be a dream come true, particularly if they became self-sustaining and generated enough revenue so that I could write and make a decent living, but I know that's just a dream for now.
Incidentally, the book I published today is Satisfaction: A Sociopathic Romance. I published a large chunk of an earlier draft on this blog a while ago. It's still there if you wanted to take a look. If you wanted to buy a copy of the finished version and compare the two, then you know that would be very nice of you.
For the first month, Satisfaction is available at 50% off, just $1.49, with the following coupon: MH93C. It's valid until March 1st 2013. You can find my book here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/280265 … It will also be on Amazon in the next day or two.
Who knows where this will lead. Somewhere? Nowhere? Round and round in circling futility? Your guess is as good as mine.
Thanks for reading
Paul
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Evolution of a story: GhostWalker
This week, I finished reviewing the latest and what I hope is the final version of my novel GhostWalker, which I first conceived of and wrote in 1993, when I was 18. It was initially written as a screenplay and it was appalling: laughable dialogue and phenomenally bad plotting meant that, in retrospect, it was unintentionally hilarious. That initial version only exists as a hard copy sitting in a folder under a bed somewhere in England. I need to get it back one of these days.
Between that version in 1993 and the version of the story that exists now, some twenty years later, I made numerous attempts to rewrite the story. The amount of effort I put into the story is a testament not only to how incredibly awful that first version was (I'm not even exaggerating here; when I do finally get my hands on that original copy, I'll scan it and upload so you can see for yourself) but also that at the heart of the tale lay a pretty good action adventure.
Honestly, I've been toying around with this story for so long that I've lost track of when I started to rewrite it again and how the plot and characters began to evolve. Apart from the first missing draft, I think I still have all the subsequent versions. The problem is they were written on so many platforms that there was never any version control and numerous copies and saves has wiped out any trace of when they were first written.
Based on a bit of deduction and memory (the latter of which can best be described as hazy), I think I began rewriting the story at around the 10 year anniversary mark, in 2003. This would make sense, firstly because 10 years seems like a logical time to revisit a long dead story, and secondly because at that time I was living with my ex, not having a great time and I would avoid reality by sitting behind a computer screen and working either on college assignments or this story.
If I ever do publish the finished version of GhostWalker, which I fully intend to do this year, and it's successful, and there's interest, I'd like to publish an essay on how the story evolved, both for my own satisfaction and also as a guide to other writers struggling with their creations. The amount of work that's gone into the story far outweighs any financial benefit that it could ever bring me, but on the other hand it's been an incredible learning exercise on how not to write a story.
So, and this is really for my sake than anyone else's, I've decided to try and map out the various iterations of this story and figure out where the story changes occurred. As to why I made the changes, I can't be sure. I can only assume that as I re-read each version I realized that some elements - characters, pacing, structure - didn't feel right and I altered things until the general pace and atmosphere of the story matched my imagination. It's fair to say that where the story is 20 years after it was originally conceived is so far removed that the two stories are hardly recognizable.
My first pass at sorting out the mess is to figure out the order all the drafts hang together. This has taken me about four hours to do, but I think I have it. 20 years of labor and several hours of headscratching has resulted in the following list:
DRAFT DATE WORDS (k)
A 1993 -
1 2003 42
2 2005* 44
3 2005* 43
4 2005 35
5 2006 79
6 2006 92
7 2006 108
8 2010 105
9 2011 79
10 2012 83
This bit of organization threw up a couple of interesting things. Firstly, although I have 10 different drafts, there are some which are minor and only five that have substantial changes: drafts 1, 5, 6, 7 and 9 have the major alterations. The biggest change was between 8 and 9. By draft 8 the story had become a boring, bloated mess. A year after writing it I tore it apart and completely rebuilt the first half of the story as draft 9, changing it from a interminably boring opus into what it was supposed to be in the first place: fun and exciting. Draft 10 rewrote the second half of the story.
Rather like draft 8, this blog post has become overlong and far too dull. I'm bored of writing this now, so I'll stop. If you want to hear more, a) let me know and b) get a life.
Between that version in 1993 and the version of the story that exists now, some twenty years later, I made numerous attempts to rewrite the story. The amount of effort I put into the story is a testament not only to how incredibly awful that first version was (I'm not even exaggerating here; when I do finally get my hands on that original copy, I'll scan it and upload so you can see for yourself) but also that at the heart of the tale lay a pretty good action adventure.
Honestly, I've been toying around with this story for so long that I've lost track of when I started to rewrite it again and how the plot and characters began to evolve. Apart from the first missing draft, I think I still have all the subsequent versions. The problem is they were written on so many platforms that there was never any version control and numerous copies and saves has wiped out any trace of when they were first written.
Based on a bit of deduction and memory (the latter of which can best be described as hazy), I think I began rewriting the story at around the 10 year anniversary mark, in 2003. This would make sense, firstly because 10 years seems like a logical time to revisit a long dead story, and secondly because at that time I was living with my ex, not having a great time and I would avoid reality by sitting behind a computer screen and working either on college assignments or this story.
If I ever do publish the finished version of GhostWalker, which I fully intend to do this year, and it's successful, and there's interest, I'd like to publish an essay on how the story evolved, both for my own satisfaction and also as a guide to other writers struggling with their creations. The amount of work that's gone into the story far outweighs any financial benefit that it could ever bring me, but on the other hand it's been an incredible learning exercise on how not to write a story.
So, and this is really for my sake than anyone else's, I've decided to try and map out the various iterations of this story and figure out where the story changes occurred. As to why I made the changes, I can't be sure. I can only assume that as I re-read each version I realized that some elements - characters, pacing, structure - didn't feel right and I altered things until the general pace and atmosphere of the story matched my imagination. It's fair to say that where the story is 20 years after it was originally conceived is so far removed that the two stories are hardly recognizable.
My first pass at sorting out the mess is to figure out the order all the drafts hang together. This has taken me about four hours to do, but I think I have it. 20 years of labor and several hours of headscratching has resulted in the following list:
DRAFT DATE WORDS (k)
A 1993 -
1 2003 42
2 2005* 44
3 2005* 43
4 2005 35
5 2006 79
6 2006 92
7 2006 108
8 2010 105
9 2011 79
10 2012 83
This bit of organization threw up a couple of interesting things. Firstly, although I have 10 different drafts, there are some which are minor and only five that have substantial changes: drafts 1, 5, 6, 7 and 9 have the major alterations. The biggest change was between 8 and 9. By draft 8 the story had become a boring, bloated mess. A year after writing it I tore it apart and completely rebuilt the first half of the story as draft 9, changing it from a interminably boring opus into what it was supposed to be in the first place: fun and exciting. Draft 10 rewrote the second half of the story.
Rather like draft 8, this blog post has become overlong and far too dull. I'm bored of writing this now, so I'll stop. If you want to hear more, a) let me know and b) get a life.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
A snippet of writing from the mind of an idiot
Just because I feel like it, here's three chapters of the latest story I'm working on. There's no real context to these as they form the middle section of the first act of this story. This is really the pivotal point for the story that sets up the rest of the adventure.
I like to take the basic conventions of story telling and play around with them. In my first ever (unpublished, crap) novel, I had a fairly traditional boy meets girl, boy loses girl structure but rather than the normal boy wins girl back third act I went more with boy hates girl and wishes she was dead and is glad when the other boy he lost her to dies horribly. That was a bit of a mean spirited story, really. Most of my stuff turns out that way. I don't write nice stuff; as my wife likes to say, "Why can't you write stuff I'd enjoy?" Sadly, that's just not me. But anyway, back to the point. This is the sequel to a novel I've already written and shopped around to a few agents without any success whatsoever. If you're wondering why I'm writing a sequel to a story that nobody is remotely interested in then don't worry because I'm wondering exactly the same thing myself. The only answer that I can give you is simply this: I like writing stories.
5 - Date Night
“Hit me again,” Sebastian ordered the barman, his speech slurred by the alcohol already flowing through his system. The barman, a young, olive skinned man with slicked back black hair, looked Sebastian up and down and shrugged. “I think you have had enough for tonight, my friend,” he said in an apologetic tone.
Sebastian glowered at him. “What are you, my mother?” he sneered. “I didn’t ask for your opinion, I asked for a drink so please, can I have another Ouzo?”
As he spoke, Dan eased himself onto the empty stool beside his brother and slapped his hand down on his shoulder. “You hanging in there buddy?” he asked Sebastian, glancing up at the barman as he spoke and making it clear with his expression that Sebastian wasn’t getting another drink.
“You could say that,” Sebastian muttered, staring down at the bar before raising his head and shooting daggers at the barman. “Of course, I’d be having a lot more fun if this asshole decided to do his job and give me a drink.”
“And that’s why you’re not having any more right now,” Dan told his brother brightly. “It’s kind of traditional not to insult your barman when you want a drink.”
“I don’t need you or him or you or anyone else telling me I’ve had enough to drink!” Sebastian exclaimed angrily, slamming his fist down onto the bar and knocking his empty glass sideways. Dan reached and picked it up, handing it to the barman. “You really don’t do being drunk very well, do you?” he said to his brother dryly.
“That’s rich coming from a guy who got demoted because of his drinking,” came the slurred reply.
“Touché,” Dan replied with a grin, “although in my defense that was a very long time ago.”
“Well, let’s just say I’m making up for lost time, then,” Sebastian sniped back.
Dan put his arm around his brother’s shoulder. “You’ve well and truly caught me up, mister,” he said encouragingly. “Let’s go sit down at our table and I’ll get us a couple more drinks.”
Sebastian let the offer sink into his addled mind and mulled it over. He wore the expression of a man trying to work out an incredibly complex equation in his head but after a few moments he nodded slowly in agreement, and Dan helped him to his feet and led him across the room to a table in the corner, where Sebastian slumped down into a wicker chair.
“Don’t got anywhere,” Dan ordered his brother, who could only mumble an unintelligible response. He walked back over to the bar. “Sorry about that,” he said to the barman in a bright tone.
“Your brother, he had a bad day today, no?”
Dan laughed. “It could have been a lot worse. This morning I thought we were all going to jail. As it is, all that’s happening is we’re being escorted out of the country tomorrow.”
“That is not so good.”
“Not when everything we’ve been working towards for the last couple of years is here, no.”
“Perhaps you will be allowed to come back when he is not so drunk?”
Dan laughed at the suggestion. “It’s not the drinking that the problem,” he told the barman. “It’s what he did when he was sober that’s the problem. Your Navy doesn’t take kindly to people stealing boats and sailing around so close to the Turkish mainland. It makes them kind of antsy, you know what I’m saying?”
“There have nearly been wars over such things.”
“Exactly,” Dan said with a sense of satisfaction, before adding, “although it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. All the Greeks and Turks I know are great. You all seem to get along.”
“Maybe we are too similar,” the barman answered with a grin.
Dan gave a little nod. “You might be onto something there.” He glanced to his and his eye was caught by the person at the end of the bar. She hadn’t been there a moment before, but he hadn’t noticed her come in. He glanced around to where he had left Sebastian; his brother was now slumped down in the chair and seemed to be asleep. He turned his attention back to the woman at the far end of the bar and his heart leapt a little as the two of them made eye contact for a moment. Dan quickly broke off his gaze and looked down at the bar, but a moment later he found his attention making his way back to the woman, and when he looked to where he sat their eyes met again. This time she smiled, a wide, dazzling smile.
Dan was immediately hooked. She was beautiful, and he guessed she was in her late twenties. Her skin was deeply tanned and her hair bleached blonde, both from spending too much time in the sun. She wore a short black dress and the way she sat with her legs crossed showed plenty of her long legs. She seemed completely out of place at the otherwise deserted bar.
Dan glanced around. She didn’t seem to be with anyone else, which seemed strange to him. Women like her didn’t wander around alone in Greek tourist towns out of season. He pondered that thought for a moment, and then stood up. There seemed to be only one way he would find out anything about this sudden and welcome distraction to the day’s less than enthralling events.
He casually walked down the bar towards the woman, who watched him curiously as he approached. He took the empty seat next to her and then casually glanced over at her, almost as if he hadn’t noticed she was there. “Well, hello there,” he said with a broad grin. The woman looked at him with only the slightest interest, but Dan was not deterred. “I couldn’t help but notice you staring at me from over here,” he went on, “but that’s okay: if I was you, I’d be staring at me too.”
The woman raised her eyes to meet his and her expression was matched by her tone of voice. “Is that really the best you can do?” she asked disdainfully. Her Californian accent was immediately apparent. “I’m sitting here on my own in this bar and you think you coming up to me and hitting on me with an arrogant line like that is going to work?”
“It seemed like it was worth a shot,” Dan replied, riding the insult like a heavyweight boxer sidestepping a punch, “especially since we’re both American. I’d hate for you to be drinking alone so far from home.”
“The cockiness didn’t work so now we’re trying for the sympathy vote, hmm?” came the snapped reply.
Dan blew out his cheeks. “Is this how you get all your dates? By waiting for them to come and say hi and then ripping them to shreds?”
“What makes you think I’m looking for a date?” she asked dryly.
Dan shrugged and glanced around him. “Well, let’s see,” he began. “You’re in a bar, on your own, you’re dressed up and you’re sitting up here on display for all to see, practically screaming for attention. I’d say that would mean you were looking for something.”
She gave him a wry grin. “You’re half right,” she told him. “Only it’s not a date I’m looking for.”
“What are you looking for, then?”
She gave him a measured gaze before she coolly replied, “You.”
6 - Business Proposal
“Me?” Dan asked after a momentary pause as her statement took the wind out of his sails. “You don’t even know who I am.”
“You’re Daniel Fox, the archeologist. The man who’s just passed out in the corner is your brother Sebastian.”
Dan looked at her suspiciously. “So who does that make you, then?”
“My name is Katherine Whitlock.”
Dan shrugged. “Is that name supposed to mean something to me?”
“I doubt it,” she replied. “I’m not a celebrity like you two.”
Dan laughed at that. “I’d hardly call myself a celebrity.”
“In the right circles, you are,” Katherine replied. “It’s your work that brought me here.”
The laughter left Dan’s voice. “My work?” he asked. Katherine reached into her bag and pulled out a tatty looking paperback book. Dan cocked his head to the side and looked at the cover. It read ‘Modern Myths and Fables’ by Daniel Fox. He rolled his eyes in disbelief. It was the same book Samaras had had in Athens. Seeing it then had made him angry; now all he could do was laugh at the girl.
“Oh my God,” Dan sniggered. “Please don’t tell me that piece of trash brought you all the way out here.”
“Why not?” Katherine replied. “It’s a good book.”
“It’s garbage,” Dan shot back.
“You wrote it,” she pointed out archly.
“Yeah, I wrote it because idiots like you lap that kind of crap up. Atlantis; Lemuria; the Loch Ness Monster, it’s all a load of recycled nonsense that people can’t get enough of.”
“That may be true,” Katherine replied, “but if it is, then why are you here investigating one of your own ‘pieces of crap’?”
Dan’s eyes narrowed. “What makes you think you have any idea what we’re doing here?” he asked her in a low voice.
“Oh, come now, Mister Fox, you don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to put the pieces together.”
Dan rolled his eyes. “I think you might have got the wrong end of the stick somewhere along the line, here,” he told Katherine. “We’re on an archeological expedition. We’re not looking for Atlantis if that’s what you’re thinking. You want Graham Hancock if that’s your thing.”
“I didn’t say anything about Atlantis.”
Dan shook his head. “Whatever you think we’re doing here, you’re wrong.”Katherine held up the well thumbed book in her right hand. “Page two hundred forty seven,” she said quietly, reading the expression on Dan’s face. “You can tell me I’m wrong but I know from that look I’m not.”
Dan pushed his hands against the bar and stood up. “I’m sorry,” he said to Katherine, “I’ve obviously made a mistake here. You enjoy the rest of your evening; I’m going to look after my brother.” He turned away, not waiting for a reply, and quickly made his way back over to where Sebastian was snoring away, his head lolling down on his chest. Dan reached down and shook his shoulder.
“Come on, we need to leave,” Dan told his brother sternly, but all he got in response was a series of grunts. Dan let out an exasperated sigh and shook Sebastian again. This time Sebastian raised his arm and waved his hand as though he was swatting away an irritating fly. “For God’s sake,” muttered Dan, looking down at his incapacitated brother.
“Need some help?” came the soft female voice from behind Dan. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Katherine standing there, looking down at the stuporous Sebastian. He glared at her. “Not from you, thanks,” he said darkly, as he leant down and tried to lift his brother to his feet, but it was to no avail. The best he could manage was to push him back into his seat. Dan slumped down in the opposite chair and let out an exasperated gasp.
“I’m really not sure what I’ve done to deserve such a hostile reaction,” Katherine said as she perched herself on the arm of Sebastian’s chair and looked at Dan.
“You’re involving yourself in our business, which makes you nosey, and I don’t like nosey people,” Dan told her flatly.
“I can see there’s no beating around the bush with you,” Katherine observed.
Dan glanced around the near empty bar and then looked back at Katherine. “Look, why don’t you just go away? I’m sorry I came and talked to you. It was a mistake. I need to get my brother back to our place when he wakes up and I don’t need you making things more difficult than they already are.”
“I didn’t come here to make your life more difficult. In fact, I came here to make it substantially easier.”
“And how are you going to do that exactly?”
“I’m willing to fund your expedition and provide you with the technical resources and equipment to complete your study.”
Dan blew out his cheeks. “This is reality, lady. Strange women do not come up to guys in bars and try to buy their services. I think you’ve been watching too many movies. Now will you please just leave me alone?”
Katherine was undaunted by Dan’s unwilling response. “I want to hire you. I need your help and I’m willing to pay you well for it.”
Dan put his head into his hands before looking up at Katherine. It seemed pointless trying to argue with her anymore so he simply stated, “That’s not how we work, I’m sorry.”
“I’ve wired one million dollars into your offshore account in Jersey. You can call them and check if you like,” she added, seeing the startled look on Dan’s face. “If you get me what I want, I will wire in another nine million.”
“I hate to break it to but we’re leaving in the morning and I don’t think we’re going to be back any time... well, ever,” Dan said, his head reeling from alcohol and the sudden rush of unexpected information. “If we’re both talking about what I think we’re talking about, I can’t do a lot for you, no matter how much money you throw my way.”
“I’m aware of your problems with the Greek government,” Katherine told him. “I can help you with that. All I need is your consent.”
“And if I still say no, do we get to keep the million dollars?” Dan asked incredulously.
“Yes,” Katherine said calmly. “Think of it as a charitable donation. I’m a fan of your work and I want to see you continue.”
Dan looked up at the beautiful, mysterious woman who sat opposite him, calmly regarding him. “Are you for real?” he finally asked. “You’re not some kind of psycho stalker or something?”
Katherine stood up and looked down at Dan. “I’d advise you to check your bank account,” she told him. “If you and your brother are interested, meet me for breakfast at the Megisti hotel at eight o’clock tomorrow morning.” She gave him a little nod. “Good luck getting him to bed.” With that, she walked away, and Dan turned to watch her make her way swiftly from the bar. He looked back down to where Sebastian was snoring away in the chair opposite him, and shook his head.
“What the hell was that about?” he wondered aloud.
7 - Breakfast Brief
“I’m never drinking again,” Sebastian moaned to himself as he stared down at the glass of freshly squeezed orange juice as though the glass was filled with fresh blood.
“I think you’re still too drunk to be officially hungover yet,” Dan observed, looking into his brother’s bloodshot eyes.
They were sitting on the deck of the Hotel Megisti, overlooking the harbor. Between them was a lavish continental breakfast laid out on the table, along with fresh fruit and coffee. It was almost eight, and they had been expected when they had arrived ten minutes earlier. Sebastian leant forward, holding his head in his hands. “I think my head is going to explode,” he said feebly. Dan grinned at him and helped himself to a bread roll from the table.
“A bit of food and some coffee and you’ll soon be feeling better,” he reassured his brother.
“I’m going to be sick if I eat anything.”
“You were already sick four times last night,” pointed out Dan. “Do you know how hard it was getting you back to the hotel?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Sebastian said.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Dan replied chirpily. “Just think, in a couple of hours you’re going to have the Greek police knocking on the door and taking you to the airport. I’m sure they’re not going to be as accommodating as this.”
“God, I hope I feel better by then.”
“Me too,” agreed Dan, “although having a million dollars sitting in our bank account helps to ease the pain of being deported.”
Sebastian looked up at his brother with a pained look on his face. “I can’t believe I missed all this last night. You make it sound like something out of a James Bond movie.”
“It pretty much was,” Dan said merrily. “Beautiful, mysterious woman approaches me in a bar with an intriguing offer and a huge pile of cash. How are we supposed to say no to that?”
“You know we aren’t supposed to leave our hotel, don’t you?” Sebastian told him. “This is only going to piss off the Greeks even more.”
“If it wasn’t for the money, we wouldn’t be here, believe me,” Dan said.
“I’m glad it attracted your interest,” came the voice from the entrance to the deck. The two brothers looked up to see Katherine standing in the doorway. She had her hair tied back in a ponytail and wore a long, flowing white dress with thin brown belt around her waist that accentuated her curves. The two brothers stood, Dan sharply, Sebastian unsteadily as she walked over to greet them.
Katherine shook Dan’s hand. “Nice to see you again, Mister Fox. I’m glad you made it.”
“Thanks for the invite.”
“I trust you checked your bank balance?”
“I did. That was very generous of you.”
“Not at all.” She turned her attention to Sebastian. “How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been better,” Sebastian replied grudgingly. Katherine grinned. “Ouzo will do that to you.” She sat down and the brothers did likewise. She looked between them. “It’s strange, you know,” she observed, “from everything I’d heard about you two Sebastian was supposed to be the level headed one and Dan more of the fool. I have to say that hasn’t been my impression so far.”
“Thanks,” Sebastian said. “I just had a bad day yesterday, that’s all.”
“In more ways than one,” pointed out Katherine as she leant forward and rested her elbows on her knees, locking here fingers together in a businesslike manner. “Let’s see if we can’t get today off to a better start.”
"How did you find us here, Miss Whitlock?" Dan asked.
"Katherine, please."
“How did you find us?” Dan repeated. He had no intention of making small talk, and Katherine quickly stopped trying.
“Through your backers,” she told him. “It wasn’t hard. People with money know other people with money. We talk.”
“You have money, then?”
Katherine arched an eyebrow at Dan. “Do you have many people throwing millions of dollars at you?”
Dan shrugged at that. “Okay, that’s a fair point,” he conceded. “I’m still not one hundred per cent sure why you did that.”
“It’s perfectly simple. I want you to find the Eye of Andromeda.”
“That’s what I thought,” Dan said despondently. “I also thought I made it clear last night that Eye is a nothing but a myth.”
“Not according to your book,” Katherine pointed out.
“I told you, that book is a load of crap. It’s a work of fiction spun around some ancient legends. The Eye is a fable, like Atlantis,” Dan said emphatically.
“Then why do you happen to be excavating in exactly the area you purport the Eye to be and why do the papers filed at the Greek Interior Ministry state that one of your objectives is to find the Eye as an artifact of historical significance?”
Dan was shaking his head even as Katherine spoke and as soon as she had posed her question he answered her back. “The truth is we were using it as a cover to excavate early Minoan temples. In case you didn’t know, there’s a lot of tension in this part of the world between Greece and Turkey. That big lump of land over there,” - he pointed out across the harbor - “that’s Turkey. If we find something big, something that could become a tourist attraction, both countries are going to want it and they’re both going to be breathing down our necks. We don’t want that, which is why we used the Eye as a cover story. Nobody takes it seriously which is why everyone was leaving us alone.”
“But the Eye is real,” insisted Katherine.
Dan shook his head. “It’s not. The stuff you’re reading is just legends, half of which I’m responsible for. The book you’ve got is the first book I ever published. It contained a chapter on the Eye and that’s where most of the rumors and stories about it come from. The fact is, I wrote that story to help sell the book. People lap that kind of thing up. It doesn’t mean it’s true. There’s no science or fact behind the story. It’s just that: a story.”
“The Eye is real.”
“You’re not getting it, are you?” Dan said with a dismissive wave.
Katherine glared at him. “It’s you who isn’t getting it,” she said firmly. “I don’t know how many time I have to tell you that the Eye is real.”
“Listen, lady...” Dan began, but he felt his brother’s hand plant on his forearm even as the words left his mouth.
“Our host seems pretty insistent that she knows something about this Eye,” Sebastian told Dan. “Maybe we should hear her out before deciding if this is worthwhile or not?”
“I can tell you now it’s not,” Dan snapped back. “She a lunatic. She might be a rich lunatic but she’s still a lunatic.”
Katherine chuckled. “This is a little bit more like what I was expecting from you two,” she said with a broad smile.
“I’m glad we don’t disappoint,” Sebastian told her, not taking his hand from Dan’s arm. “Now, what exactly is it that you know?”
“Before I begin, I need you to understand that everything I am going to tell you is in the strictest confidence and may not be used by you or any other competitor. If it is, then I will withdraw all funds from your offshore account, not just the money I deposited.”
“You can’t do that!” Dan protested.
“I can and I will,” Katherine assured him coolly. “When I enter into business with someone I expect a certain level of professionalism. If it is absent, I ensure they are suitably punished. Make no mistake about that.”
“You must be a lot of fun at kids’ parties,” Dan said dryly.
“I don’t joke about my investments, Daniel,” Katherine replied.
“You’re clearly serious about your work,” Sebastian observed.
“I am,” Katherine confirmed, “and I expect anyone working for me to be equally serious. Now, shall we get down to business?”
The two brothers glanced at one another. As objectionable as Katherine seemed, there was something undeniably intriguing about her confidence and the notion that she knew something that she clearly believed to be tantalizing.
“Alright,” Sebastian said. “We’re on board.” He felt Dan’s arm tense under his grip but he squeezed his fingers tighter before his brother could speak and continued. “Let’s hear what you’ve got.”
Katherine sat back as a smile of self-satisfaction spread across her face. “Excellent,” she said. “I’m glad you’ve seen sense. You’re going to be a huge asset.”
“I usually get people telling me I’m a huge ass,” Dan told her dryly.
“Hopefully not this time,” was the sardonic reply, before Katherine’s tone shifted to a more serious nature. “The Eye is real. You're just looking for it in the wrong place.”
“How do you know that?” Sebastian asked.
“I’ll come to that,” Katherine told him. “The Greeks built temples to honor their gods. The Eye was, or is, a temple built to worship a star, specifically Alpheratz in the constellation of Andromeda. It’s the brightest star in the constellation, representing the head of Andromeda, which is where the Greek designation for the temple came from.”
“Why would the Greeks build a temple to a star?” Sebastian asked. “That’s more an Egyptian trait, or Mezoamerican. That’s not something the Greeks would have done.”
“I don’t believe they did build it,” Katherine replied, leaning forward again and becoming more animated. “I believe they discovered it, or rediscovered it to be more precise, and renamed it. I think the real temple is much older than any civilization you associated it with.”
Dan and Sebastian glanced at each other. “Was that in your book?” Sebastian asked Dan, who shook his head slowly. Sebastian turned back to Katherine. “You said we’re looking in the wrong place? You don’t think it’s at Megisti?”
“No, I don’t. I think the sunken temple you are investigating is not the temple of the Eye itself. I think it is one of four cardinal markers related to the true position of the Eye.
“Each one of the markers is one hundred and twenty miles north, south, east and west of the temple of Andromeda, which lies at the center, forming the outline of a bright star. Megisti is the southern most marker.”
“That would put the temple somewhere smack bang in the middle of Turkey,” Sebastian pointed out.
“Yes, it would,” agreed Katherine.
“That would mean the Greeks couldn’t have built it.”
“Exactly.”
The two brothers looked at one another again, this time with a new spark of interest.
“Okay, you’ve got our attention,” Sebastian told Katherine. “Now you’re telling us you know where the Eye is located?”
“I suspect I do, and I have evidence to prove it.”
“Evidence?” asked Dan, suddenly intrigued. “What evidence?”
I like to take the basic conventions of story telling and play around with them. In my first ever (unpublished, crap) novel, I had a fairly traditional boy meets girl, boy loses girl structure but rather than the normal boy wins girl back third act I went more with boy hates girl and wishes she was dead and is glad when the other boy he lost her to dies horribly. That was a bit of a mean spirited story, really. Most of my stuff turns out that way. I don't write nice stuff; as my wife likes to say, "Why can't you write stuff I'd enjoy?" Sadly, that's just not me. But anyway, back to the point. This is the sequel to a novel I've already written and shopped around to a few agents without any success whatsoever. If you're wondering why I'm writing a sequel to a story that nobody is remotely interested in then don't worry because I'm wondering exactly the same thing myself. The only answer that I can give you is simply this: I like writing stories.
5 - Date Night
“Hit me again,” Sebastian ordered the barman, his speech slurred by the alcohol already flowing through his system. The barman, a young, olive skinned man with slicked back black hair, looked Sebastian up and down and shrugged. “I think you have had enough for tonight, my friend,” he said in an apologetic tone.
Sebastian glowered at him. “What are you, my mother?” he sneered. “I didn’t ask for your opinion, I asked for a drink so please, can I have another Ouzo?”
As he spoke, Dan eased himself onto the empty stool beside his brother and slapped his hand down on his shoulder. “You hanging in there buddy?” he asked Sebastian, glancing up at the barman as he spoke and making it clear with his expression that Sebastian wasn’t getting another drink.
“You could say that,” Sebastian muttered, staring down at the bar before raising his head and shooting daggers at the barman. “Of course, I’d be having a lot more fun if this asshole decided to do his job and give me a drink.”
“And that’s why you’re not having any more right now,” Dan told his brother brightly. “It’s kind of traditional not to insult your barman when you want a drink.”
“I don’t need you or him or you or anyone else telling me I’ve had enough to drink!” Sebastian exclaimed angrily, slamming his fist down onto the bar and knocking his empty glass sideways. Dan reached and picked it up, handing it to the barman. “You really don’t do being drunk very well, do you?” he said to his brother dryly.
“That’s rich coming from a guy who got demoted because of his drinking,” came the slurred reply.
“Touché,” Dan replied with a grin, “although in my defense that was a very long time ago.”
“Well, let’s just say I’m making up for lost time, then,” Sebastian sniped back.
Dan put his arm around his brother’s shoulder. “You’ve well and truly caught me up, mister,” he said encouragingly. “Let’s go sit down at our table and I’ll get us a couple more drinks.”
Sebastian let the offer sink into his addled mind and mulled it over. He wore the expression of a man trying to work out an incredibly complex equation in his head but after a few moments he nodded slowly in agreement, and Dan helped him to his feet and led him across the room to a table in the corner, where Sebastian slumped down into a wicker chair.
“Don’t got anywhere,” Dan ordered his brother, who could only mumble an unintelligible response. He walked back over to the bar. “Sorry about that,” he said to the barman in a bright tone.
“Your brother, he had a bad day today, no?”
Dan laughed. “It could have been a lot worse. This morning I thought we were all going to jail. As it is, all that’s happening is we’re being escorted out of the country tomorrow.”
“That is not so good.”
“Not when everything we’ve been working towards for the last couple of years is here, no.”
“Perhaps you will be allowed to come back when he is not so drunk?”
Dan laughed at the suggestion. “It’s not the drinking that the problem,” he told the barman. “It’s what he did when he was sober that’s the problem. Your Navy doesn’t take kindly to people stealing boats and sailing around so close to the Turkish mainland. It makes them kind of antsy, you know what I’m saying?”
“There have nearly been wars over such things.”
“Exactly,” Dan said with a sense of satisfaction, before adding, “although it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. All the Greeks and Turks I know are great. You all seem to get along.”
“Maybe we are too similar,” the barman answered with a grin.
Dan gave a little nod. “You might be onto something there.” He glanced to his and his eye was caught by the person at the end of the bar. She hadn’t been there a moment before, but he hadn’t noticed her come in. He glanced around to where he had left Sebastian; his brother was now slumped down in the chair and seemed to be asleep. He turned his attention back to the woman at the far end of the bar and his heart leapt a little as the two of them made eye contact for a moment. Dan quickly broke off his gaze and looked down at the bar, but a moment later he found his attention making his way back to the woman, and when he looked to where he sat their eyes met again. This time she smiled, a wide, dazzling smile.
Dan was immediately hooked. She was beautiful, and he guessed she was in her late twenties. Her skin was deeply tanned and her hair bleached blonde, both from spending too much time in the sun. She wore a short black dress and the way she sat with her legs crossed showed plenty of her long legs. She seemed completely out of place at the otherwise deserted bar.
Dan glanced around. She didn’t seem to be with anyone else, which seemed strange to him. Women like her didn’t wander around alone in Greek tourist towns out of season. He pondered that thought for a moment, and then stood up. There seemed to be only one way he would find out anything about this sudden and welcome distraction to the day’s less than enthralling events.
He casually walked down the bar towards the woman, who watched him curiously as he approached. He took the empty seat next to her and then casually glanced over at her, almost as if he hadn’t noticed she was there. “Well, hello there,” he said with a broad grin. The woman looked at him with only the slightest interest, but Dan was not deterred. “I couldn’t help but notice you staring at me from over here,” he went on, “but that’s okay: if I was you, I’d be staring at me too.”
The woman raised her eyes to meet his and her expression was matched by her tone of voice. “Is that really the best you can do?” she asked disdainfully. Her Californian accent was immediately apparent. “I’m sitting here on my own in this bar and you think you coming up to me and hitting on me with an arrogant line like that is going to work?”
“It seemed like it was worth a shot,” Dan replied, riding the insult like a heavyweight boxer sidestepping a punch, “especially since we’re both American. I’d hate for you to be drinking alone so far from home.”
“The cockiness didn’t work so now we’re trying for the sympathy vote, hmm?” came the snapped reply.
Dan blew out his cheeks. “Is this how you get all your dates? By waiting for them to come and say hi and then ripping them to shreds?”
“What makes you think I’m looking for a date?” she asked dryly.
Dan shrugged and glanced around him. “Well, let’s see,” he began. “You’re in a bar, on your own, you’re dressed up and you’re sitting up here on display for all to see, practically screaming for attention. I’d say that would mean you were looking for something.”
She gave him a wry grin. “You’re half right,” she told him. “Only it’s not a date I’m looking for.”
“What are you looking for, then?”
She gave him a measured gaze before she coolly replied, “You.”
6 - Business Proposal
“Me?” Dan asked after a momentary pause as her statement took the wind out of his sails. “You don’t even know who I am.”
“You’re Daniel Fox, the archeologist. The man who’s just passed out in the corner is your brother Sebastian.”
Dan looked at her suspiciously. “So who does that make you, then?”
“My name is Katherine Whitlock.”
Dan shrugged. “Is that name supposed to mean something to me?”
“I doubt it,” she replied. “I’m not a celebrity like you two.”
Dan laughed at that. “I’d hardly call myself a celebrity.”
“In the right circles, you are,” Katherine replied. “It’s your work that brought me here.”
The laughter left Dan’s voice. “My work?” he asked. Katherine reached into her bag and pulled out a tatty looking paperback book. Dan cocked his head to the side and looked at the cover. It read ‘Modern Myths and Fables’ by Daniel Fox. He rolled his eyes in disbelief. It was the same book Samaras had had in Athens. Seeing it then had made him angry; now all he could do was laugh at the girl.
“Oh my God,” Dan sniggered. “Please don’t tell me that piece of trash brought you all the way out here.”
“Why not?” Katherine replied. “It’s a good book.”
“It’s garbage,” Dan shot back.
“You wrote it,” she pointed out archly.
“Yeah, I wrote it because idiots like you lap that kind of crap up. Atlantis; Lemuria; the Loch Ness Monster, it’s all a load of recycled nonsense that people can’t get enough of.”
“That may be true,” Katherine replied, “but if it is, then why are you here investigating one of your own ‘pieces of crap’?”
Dan’s eyes narrowed. “What makes you think you have any idea what we’re doing here?” he asked her in a low voice.
“Oh, come now, Mister Fox, you don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to put the pieces together.”
Dan rolled his eyes. “I think you might have got the wrong end of the stick somewhere along the line, here,” he told Katherine. “We’re on an archeological expedition. We’re not looking for Atlantis if that’s what you’re thinking. You want Graham Hancock if that’s your thing.”
“I didn’t say anything about Atlantis.”
Dan shook his head. “Whatever you think we’re doing here, you’re wrong.”Katherine held up the well thumbed book in her right hand. “Page two hundred forty seven,” she said quietly, reading the expression on Dan’s face. “You can tell me I’m wrong but I know from that look I’m not.”
Dan pushed his hands against the bar and stood up. “I’m sorry,” he said to Katherine, “I’ve obviously made a mistake here. You enjoy the rest of your evening; I’m going to look after my brother.” He turned away, not waiting for a reply, and quickly made his way back over to where Sebastian was snoring away, his head lolling down on his chest. Dan reached down and shook his shoulder.
“Come on, we need to leave,” Dan told his brother sternly, but all he got in response was a series of grunts. Dan let out an exasperated sigh and shook Sebastian again. This time Sebastian raised his arm and waved his hand as though he was swatting away an irritating fly. “For God’s sake,” muttered Dan, looking down at his incapacitated brother.
“Need some help?” came the soft female voice from behind Dan. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Katherine standing there, looking down at the stuporous Sebastian. He glared at her. “Not from you, thanks,” he said darkly, as he leant down and tried to lift his brother to his feet, but it was to no avail. The best he could manage was to push him back into his seat. Dan slumped down in the opposite chair and let out an exasperated gasp.
“I’m really not sure what I’ve done to deserve such a hostile reaction,” Katherine said as she perched herself on the arm of Sebastian’s chair and looked at Dan.
“You’re involving yourself in our business, which makes you nosey, and I don’t like nosey people,” Dan told her flatly.
“I can see there’s no beating around the bush with you,” Katherine observed.
Dan glanced around the near empty bar and then looked back at Katherine. “Look, why don’t you just go away? I’m sorry I came and talked to you. It was a mistake. I need to get my brother back to our place when he wakes up and I don’t need you making things more difficult than they already are.”
“I didn’t come here to make your life more difficult. In fact, I came here to make it substantially easier.”
“And how are you going to do that exactly?”
“I’m willing to fund your expedition and provide you with the technical resources and equipment to complete your study.”
Dan blew out his cheeks. “This is reality, lady. Strange women do not come up to guys in bars and try to buy their services. I think you’ve been watching too many movies. Now will you please just leave me alone?”
Katherine was undaunted by Dan’s unwilling response. “I want to hire you. I need your help and I’m willing to pay you well for it.”
Dan put his head into his hands before looking up at Katherine. It seemed pointless trying to argue with her anymore so he simply stated, “That’s not how we work, I’m sorry.”
“I’ve wired one million dollars into your offshore account in Jersey. You can call them and check if you like,” she added, seeing the startled look on Dan’s face. “If you get me what I want, I will wire in another nine million.”
“I hate to break it to but we’re leaving in the morning and I don’t think we’re going to be back any time... well, ever,” Dan said, his head reeling from alcohol and the sudden rush of unexpected information. “If we’re both talking about what I think we’re talking about, I can’t do a lot for you, no matter how much money you throw my way.”
“I’m aware of your problems with the Greek government,” Katherine told him. “I can help you with that. All I need is your consent.”
“And if I still say no, do we get to keep the million dollars?” Dan asked incredulously.
“Yes,” Katherine said calmly. “Think of it as a charitable donation. I’m a fan of your work and I want to see you continue.”
Dan looked up at the beautiful, mysterious woman who sat opposite him, calmly regarding him. “Are you for real?” he finally asked. “You’re not some kind of psycho stalker or something?”
Katherine stood up and looked down at Dan. “I’d advise you to check your bank account,” she told him. “If you and your brother are interested, meet me for breakfast at the Megisti hotel at eight o’clock tomorrow morning.” She gave him a little nod. “Good luck getting him to bed.” With that, she walked away, and Dan turned to watch her make her way swiftly from the bar. He looked back down to where Sebastian was snoring away in the chair opposite him, and shook his head.
“What the hell was that about?” he wondered aloud.
7 - Breakfast Brief
“I’m never drinking again,” Sebastian moaned to himself as he stared down at the glass of freshly squeezed orange juice as though the glass was filled with fresh blood.
“I think you’re still too drunk to be officially hungover yet,” Dan observed, looking into his brother’s bloodshot eyes.
They were sitting on the deck of the Hotel Megisti, overlooking the harbor. Between them was a lavish continental breakfast laid out on the table, along with fresh fruit and coffee. It was almost eight, and they had been expected when they had arrived ten minutes earlier. Sebastian leant forward, holding his head in his hands. “I think my head is going to explode,” he said feebly. Dan grinned at him and helped himself to a bread roll from the table.
“A bit of food and some coffee and you’ll soon be feeling better,” he reassured his brother.
“I’m going to be sick if I eat anything.”
“You were already sick four times last night,” pointed out Dan. “Do you know how hard it was getting you back to the hotel?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Sebastian said.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Dan replied chirpily. “Just think, in a couple of hours you’re going to have the Greek police knocking on the door and taking you to the airport. I’m sure they’re not going to be as accommodating as this.”
“God, I hope I feel better by then.”
“Me too,” agreed Dan, “although having a million dollars sitting in our bank account helps to ease the pain of being deported.”
Sebastian looked up at his brother with a pained look on his face. “I can’t believe I missed all this last night. You make it sound like something out of a James Bond movie.”
“It pretty much was,” Dan said merrily. “Beautiful, mysterious woman approaches me in a bar with an intriguing offer and a huge pile of cash. How are we supposed to say no to that?”
“You know we aren’t supposed to leave our hotel, don’t you?” Sebastian told him. “This is only going to piss off the Greeks even more.”
“If it wasn’t for the money, we wouldn’t be here, believe me,” Dan said.
“I’m glad it attracted your interest,” came the voice from the entrance to the deck. The two brothers looked up to see Katherine standing in the doorway. She had her hair tied back in a ponytail and wore a long, flowing white dress with thin brown belt around her waist that accentuated her curves. The two brothers stood, Dan sharply, Sebastian unsteadily as she walked over to greet them.
Katherine shook Dan’s hand. “Nice to see you again, Mister Fox. I’m glad you made it.”
“Thanks for the invite.”
“I trust you checked your bank balance?”
“I did. That was very generous of you.”
“Not at all.” She turned her attention to Sebastian. “How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been better,” Sebastian replied grudgingly. Katherine grinned. “Ouzo will do that to you.” She sat down and the brothers did likewise. She looked between them. “It’s strange, you know,” she observed, “from everything I’d heard about you two Sebastian was supposed to be the level headed one and Dan more of the fool. I have to say that hasn’t been my impression so far.”
“Thanks,” Sebastian said. “I just had a bad day yesterday, that’s all.”
“In more ways than one,” pointed out Katherine as she leant forward and rested her elbows on her knees, locking here fingers together in a businesslike manner. “Let’s see if we can’t get today off to a better start.”
"How did you find us here, Miss Whitlock?" Dan asked.
"Katherine, please."
“How did you find us?” Dan repeated. He had no intention of making small talk, and Katherine quickly stopped trying.
“Through your backers,” she told him. “It wasn’t hard. People with money know other people with money. We talk.”
“You have money, then?”
Katherine arched an eyebrow at Dan. “Do you have many people throwing millions of dollars at you?”
Dan shrugged at that. “Okay, that’s a fair point,” he conceded. “I’m still not one hundred per cent sure why you did that.”
“It’s perfectly simple. I want you to find the Eye of Andromeda.”
“That’s what I thought,” Dan said despondently. “I also thought I made it clear last night that Eye is a nothing but a myth.”
“Not according to your book,” Katherine pointed out.
“I told you, that book is a load of crap. It’s a work of fiction spun around some ancient legends. The Eye is a fable, like Atlantis,” Dan said emphatically.
“Then why do you happen to be excavating in exactly the area you purport the Eye to be and why do the papers filed at the Greek Interior Ministry state that one of your objectives is to find the Eye as an artifact of historical significance?”
Dan was shaking his head even as Katherine spoke and as soon as she had posed her question he answered her back. “The truth is we were using it as a cover to excavate early Minoan temples. In case you didn’t know, there’s a lot of tension in this part of the world between Greece and Turkey. That big lump of land over there,” - he pointed out across the harbor - “that’s Turkey. If we find something big, something that could become a tourist attraction, both countries are going to want it and they’re both going to be breathing down our necks. We don’t want that, which is why we used the Eye as a cover story. Nobody takes it seriously which is why everyone was leaving us alone.”
“But the Eye is real,” insisted Katherine.
Dan shook his head. “It’s not. The stuff you’re reading is just legends, half of which I’m responsible for. The book you’ve got is the first book I ever published. It contained a chapter on the Eye and that’s where most of the rumors and stories about it come from. The fact is, I wrote that story to help sell the book. People lap that kind of thing up. It doesn’t mean it’s true. There’s no science or fact behind the story. It’s just that: a story.”
“The Eye is real.”
“You’re not getting it, are you?” Dan said with a dismissive wave.
Katherine glared at him. “It’s you who isn’t getting it,” she said firmly. “I don’t know how many time I have to tell you that the Eye is real.”
“Listen, lady...” Dan began, but he felt his brother’s hand plant on his forearm even as the words left his mouth.
“Our host seems pretty insistent that she knows something about this Eye,” Sebastian told Dan. “Maybe we should hear her out before deciding if this is worthwhile or not?”
“I can tell you now it’s not,” Dan snapped back. “She a lunatic. She might be a rich lunatic but she’s still a lunatic.”
Katherine chuckled. “This is a little bit more like what I was expecting from you two,” she said with a broad smile.
“I’m glad we don’t disappoint,” Sebastian told her, not taking his hand from Dan’s arm. “Now, what exactly is it that you know?”
“Before I begin, I need you to understand that everything I am going to tell you is in the strictest confidence and may not be used by you or any other competitor. If it is, then I will withdraw all funds from your offshore account, not just the money I deposited.”
“You can’t do that!” Dan protested.
“I can and I will,” Katherine assured him coolly. “When I enter into business with someone I expect a certain level of professionalism. If it is absent, I ensure they are suitably punished. Make no mistake about that.”
“You must be a lot of fun at kids’ parties,” Dan said dryly.
“I don’t joke about my investments, Daniel,” Katherine replied.
“You’re clearly serious about your work,” Sebastian observed.
“I am,” Katherine confirmed, “and I expect anyone working for me to be equally serious. Now, shall we get down to business?”
The two brothers glanced at one another. As objectionable as Katherine seemed, there was something undeniably intriguing about her confidence and the notion that she knew something that she clearly believed to be tantalizing.
“Alright,” Sebastian said. “We’re on board.” He felt Dan’s arm tense under his grip but he squeezed his fingers tighter before his brother could speak and continued. “Let’s hear what you’ve got.”
Katherine sat back as a smile of self-satisfaction spread across her face. “Excellent,” she said. “I’m glad you’ve seen sense. You’re going to be a huge asset.”
“I usually get people telling me I’m a huge ass,” Dan told her dryly.
“Hopefully not this time,” was the sardonic reply, before Katherine’s tone shifted to a more serious nature. “The Eye is real. You're just looking for it in the wrong place.”
“How do you know that?” Sebastian asked.
“I’ll come to that,” Katherine told him. “The Greeks built temples to honor their gods. The Eye was, or is, a temple built to worship a star, specifically Alpheratz in the constellation of Andromeda. It’s the brightest star in the constellation, representing the head of Andromeda, which is where the Greek designation for the temple came from.”
“Why would the Greeks build a temple to a star?” Sebastian asked. “That’s more an Egyptian trait, or Mezoamerican. That’s not something the Greeks would have done.”
“I don’t believe they did build it,” Katherine replied, leaning forward again and becoming more animated. “I believe they discovered it, or rediscovered it to be more precise, and renamed it. I think the real temple is much older than any civilization you associated it with.”
Dan and Sebastian glanced at each other. “Was that in your book?” Sebastian asked Dan, who shook his head slowly. Sebastian turned back to Katherine. “You said we’re looking in the wrong place? You don’t think it’s at Megisti?”
“No, I don’t. I think the sunken temple you are investigating is not the temple of the Eye itself. I think it is one of four cardinal markers related to the true position of the Eye.
“Each one of the markers is one hundred and twenty miles north, south, east and west of the temple of Andromeda, which lies at the center, forming the outline of a bright star. Megisti is the southern most marker.”
“That would put the temple somewhere smack bang in the middle of Turkey,” Sebastian pointed out.
“Yes, it would,” agreed Katherine.
“That would mean the Greeks couldn’t have built it.”
“Exactly.”
The two brothers looked at one another again, this time with a new spark of interest.
“Okay, you’ve got our attention,” Sebastian told Katherine. “Now you’re telling us you know where the Eye is located?”
“I suspect I do, and I have evidence to prove it.”
“Evidence?” asked Dan, suddenly intrigued. “What evidence?”
Saturday, July 14, 2012
The W word
I don't normally write anything on here about what I do when I'm not writing, because I do do other things apart from writing. In fact, the writing just fills in gaps between the other things I do. Apart from cooking, cleaning, shouting at a small dog and generally irritating my wife, my main other occupation is photography.
I don't think I'm a great photographer by any means. That's not just the old false modesty thing, you know, when someone goes "Golf, eh? Never been much good at it," right before they hit a hole in one and look smug. I'm talking about an honest technical appraisal of my own capabilities and my ability to operate the cameras I have.
I've owned DSLR cameras for about 8 years now and like most things in life I've played with them sporadically. I always shot with natural light mainly because I didn't know how to use a flash. But since the start of this year, a kindly chap has taken me under his wing and taught me an awful lot about how to do good photography and really it's not that hard. Most people go wrong because they're scared of all the buttons and settings, but if you take your time and learn what they all do and then do a bit of reading on how it all works then you will find yourself coming on leaps and bounds.
As a case in point, at the start of the year I was bumbling through weddings barely understanding what I was doing. Now I can shoot a full wedding, process the images, print and deliver them to a client and have them turn around and say how much they like the pictures.
It's that last part that made me write this. It's so nice to see people comment on a picture and say how much they love it. The praise is not directed at me; there's nothing to say who the photographer was. Instead, what they like is the mood and the emotion of the image, and that's what I strive to shoot. I'm not technically the best but I like to think I can capture how people feel, and when they come back and comment to that effect, it makes me feel like I've done a good job.
That said, I'm still learning the trade, and I will use the rest of this year to improve my skills. Next year, though, I'm going to be taking off and making some good money doing something I really enjoy, and you can't ask for more than that, can you?
I don't think I'm a great photographer by any means. That's not just the old false modesty thing, you know, when someone goes "Golf, eh? Never been much good at it," right before they hit a hole in one and look smug. I'm talking about an honest technical appraisal of my own capabilities and my ability to operate the cameras I have.
I've owned DSLR cameras for about 8 years now and like most things in life I've played with them sporadically. I always shot with natural light mainly because I didn't know how to use a flash. But since the start of this year, a kindly chap has taken me under his wing and taught me an awful lot about how to do good photography and really it's not that hard. Most people go wrong because they're scared of all the buttons and settings, but if you take your time and learn what they all do and then do a bit of reading on how it all works then you will find yourself coming on leaps and bounds.
As a case in point, at the start of the year I was bumbling through weddings barely understanding what I was doing. Now I can shoot a full wedding, process the images, print and deliver them to a client and have them turn around and say how much they like the pictures.
It's that last part that made me write this. It's so nice to see people comment on a picture and say how much they love it. The praise is not directed at me; there's nothing to say who the photographer was. Instead, what they like is the mood and the emotion of the image, and that's what I strive to shoot. I'm not technically the best but I like to think I can capture how people feel, and when they come back and comment to that effect, it makes me feel like I've done a good job.
That said, I'm still learning the trade, and I will use the rest of this year to improve my skills. Next year, though, I'm going to be taking off and making some good money doing something I really enjoy, and you can't ask for more than that, can you?
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Structuring an unstructured mind is like nailing a cat to a sail in a hurricane
The problem with having an overactive imagination is getting it to stop. I can be walking along when I have a great idea, concept, lyric, line or something that flashes across my mind. It's so great it puts the proverbial spring in my step as I let it run free and grow and build and I think 'I HAVE to get this down, this is amazing'. Then something happens - someone speaks to me, a child punches me in the groin or a car tries to run me over (all have happened) and the great idea evaporates away before it has time to fully form in my memory. It's a pain in the arse.
That said, a lot of idiocy and madness does survive that initial germination phase and makes it to a scrap of paper, a notebook, the back of a hand or any other place I can get it scribbled down, just enough to prompt the thought again when I look back at it later so that the idea is not lost amongst the noise of the world.
Even with all the loss, I still splurge out more ideas than I can realistically turn into worthwhile work. This includes stories, songs and often just throwaway lines that I put on Twitter or to a lesser extent Facebook. I've always written stories, even from a young age. A couple of things stick in my mind from that period. Both involve the same English teacher, Mr Milner, who taught me at Oaklands School in York. He must be dead by now, but he had a huge impact on my life, even though he doesn't know it. In return, I never gave him back his copy of To Kill A Mockingbird.
My first memory related to his teaching - oh no, wait, there's three, not two - was when we were given a sheet of paper with a series of drawings, depicting a guy who gets a motorbike. We had to use them to tell a story. I sort of cheated, because I cut the page up, rearranged the sequence of pictures and turned one of the characters into a policeman reporting on the untimely death of the lead character at the end of the story. Mr Milner wrote on it 'This is a work of the highest standard, well done.' That stuck in my head because a) he was right, it was good and b) I didn't get why nobody else did the same thing. It just seemed obvious to me.
Memory number two was a story about a raft. I wrote it from the point of view of someone walking through a forest a spying on another person building a raft. Mr Milner started reading that one out in class, much to my horror. At that point I realized that I don't crave attention or validation for my writing. I know when something works and when I doesn't. I don't need other people telling me that. If I let someone read something it's because I've gotten it to the point where it's progressed far enough to be presented to an audience. That doesn't necessarily mean its the finished product. That said, I do take onboard people's suggestions. When people read my story I want them to find plot holes or any deus ex machina moments that need extracting and replacing with decent story telling. I don't have a problem with that but generally by the time I have gotten to the point of letting someone read my work, such problems can be fixed with one or two lines of exposition.
Memory number three was a comment he put on a story about a deranged general trying to blow up a neutron bomb. He wrote at the bottom - 'hugely entertaining, worthy of Jeffrey Archer!' At the time I thought that was a compliment, but there will be more on that story later...
So that sort of brings me on to the point of this post. I have a lot of stories in development, but a lot of them are pretty closely tied together. In order to keep track of this, I need to set out a diagram of where they all fit together. Apologies for the formatting:
Brotherly Love
Valiant Shield
Satisfaction Ghostwalker
Sympathy for the Devil Ghostwalkers
Infinite Diamond
The Eye of Andromeda Scorpio
Northstar
Nemesis
Okay, I have more than I thought, that's actually eleven books. Given the length of book I seem to write, that's about a million words. Seeing as I do at least one complete rewrite per story, that brings it up to over two million words worth of effort to complete all these stories. Now you see why I see having too much imagination as being a bit of a curse.
Bear in mind that most of these are not written out in full, and that million word target is probably more around the three hundred thousand word mark at the moment. In fact, only Satisfaction and Ghostwalker are completed to a reasonable degree, with Infinite Diamond close behind. Brotherly Love has an outline and a few passages. Sympathy for the Devil has a start and a premise. Ghostwalkers has a premise. Valiant Shield is based on the story Mr Milner likened to the work of Jeffrey Archer, and is little more than a basic pitch. Infinite Diamond is the story I'm working on at the moment and is about half way through being rewritten. The Eye of Andromeda has an outline, as do the last three.
What links Valiant Shield through to Nemesis is one character. He's called Nathan Hayes and in some of the stories he's a relatively minor player, whereas in others he takes centre stage. The overarching span of these stories is really about his career, although you wouldn't see that reading any one of the stories.
The stories on the left don't involve Hayes and are a standalone little stories told from the first person point of view. This is by far and away the easiest and laziest way for me to write, because I'm basically writing in my voice as I see it and hear it in my head. If a character doesn't know something then they don't know. I don't need to go away and research a subject or try to describe something I barely understand myself. It really is much, much easier writing like this. It's pretty much the same voice I use to write this blog, only it's fictional. That's why when I start trying to publish, I'll be using thes stories on the left. That way if I fail, it's at minimum damage to myself. The other reason is to retain creative control. I know where I want the rest of the stories to go and how I want them to fit together. If I publish one of them without securing that creative control, it would run the risk of buggering up the overall structure that I have in mind.
The rest of the stories are very much more conventional fiction writing and range from thrillers through to straight action stories, mostly with a slight fantasy/sci fi element, although I don't include characters with names like Jxxfrkk or Gilfard the Great or anything like that. It's a little more grounded writing than that, I like to think. I do tend to write pretty visually and of course I think about how these stories could end up on film. I'm also realistic though, and I know there's pretty much a zero chance of that happening, since they would be expensive to make. So for now they will exist as novels, although another thought has occurred to me. Being very visual stories, they could do very well as graphic novels. I think the sort of stories I write could work in that medium and be marketed to the sort of audience who would pick up a graphic novel in the first place.
The only problem is that, like most things in life, I have no idea where to start.
That said, a lot of idiocy and madness does survive that initial germination phase and makes it to a scrap of paper, a notebook, the back of a hand or any other place I can get it scribbled down, just enough to prompt the thought again when I look back at it later so that the idea is not lost amongst the noise of the world.
Even with all the loss, I still splurge out more ideas than I can realistically turn into worthwhile work. This includes stories, songs and often just throwaway lines that I put on Twitter or to a lesser extent Facebook. I've always written stories, even from a young age. A couple of things stick in my mind from that period. Both involve the same English teacher, Mr Milner, who taught me at Oaklands School in York. He must be dead by now, but he had a huge impact on my life, even though he doesn't know it. In return, I never gave him back his copy of To Kill A Mockingbird.
My first memory related to his teaching - oh no, wait, there's three, not two - was when we were given a sheet of paper with a series of drawings, depicting a guy who gets a motorbike. We had to use them to tell a story. I sort of cheated, because I cut the page up, rearranged the sequence of pictures and turned one of the characters into a policeman reporting on the untimely death of the lead character at the end of the story. Mr Milner wrote on it 'This is a work of the highest standard, well done.' That stuck in my head because a) he was right, it was good and b) I didn't get why nobody else did the same thing. It just seemed obvious to me.
Memory number two was a story about a raft. I wrote it from the point of view of someone walking through a forest a spying on another person building a raft. Mr Milner started reading that one out in class, much to my horror. At that point I realized that I don't crave attention or validation for my writing. I know when something works and when I doesn't. I don't need other people telling me that. If I let someone read something it's because I've gotten it to the point where it's progressed far enough to be presented to an audience. That doesn't necessarily mean its the finished product. That said, I do take onboard people's suggestions. When people read my story I want them to find plot holes or any deus ex machina moments that need extracting and replacing with decent story telling. I don't have a problem with that but generally by the time I have gotten to the point of letting someone read my work, such problems can be fixed with one or two lines of exposition.
Memory number three was a comment he put on a story about a deranged general trying to blow up a neutron bomb. He wrote at the bottom - 'hugely entertaining, worthy of Jeffrey Archer!' At the time I thought that was a compliment, but there will be more on that story later...
So that sort of brings me on to the point of this post. I have a lot of stories in development, but a lot of them are pretty closely tied together. In order to keep track of this, I need to set out a diagram of where they all fit together. Apologies for the formatting:
Brotherly Love
Valiant Shield
Satisfaction Ghostwalker
Sympathy for the Devil Ghostwalkers
Infinite Diamond
The Eye of Andromeda Scorpio
Northstar
Nemesis
Okay, I have more than I thought, that's actually eleven books. Given the length of book I seem to write, that's about a million words. Seeing as I do at least one complete rewrite per story, that brings it up to over two million words worth of effort to complete all these stories. Now you see why I see having too much imagination as being a bit of a curse.
Bear in mind that most of these are not written out in full, and that million word target is probably more around the three hundred thousand word mark at the moment. In fact, only Satisfaction and Ghostwalker are completed to a reasonable degree, with Infinite Diamond close behind. Brotherly Love has an outline and a few passages. Sympathy for the Devil has a start and a premise. Ghostwalkers has a premise. Valiant Shield is based on the story Mr Milner likened to the work of Jeffrey Archer, and is little more than a basic pitch. Infinite Diamond is the story I'm working on at the moment and is about half way through being rewritten. The Eye of Andromeda has an outline, as do the last three.
What links Valiant Shield through to Nemesis is one character. He's called Nathan Hayes and in some of the stories he's a relatively minor player, whereas in others he takes centre stage. The overarching span of these stories is really about his career, although you wouldn't see that reading any one of the stories.
The stories on the left don't involve Hayes and are a standalone little stories told from the first person point of view. This is by far and away the easiest and laziest way for me to write, because I'm basically writing in my voice as I see it and hear it in my head. If a character doesn't know something then they don't know. I don't need to go away and research a subject or try to describe something I barely understand myself. It really is much, much easier writing like this. It's pretty much the same voice I use to write this blog, only it's fictional. That's why when I start trying to publish, I'll be using thes stories on the left. That way if I fail, it's at minimum damage to myself. The other reason is to retain creative control. I know where I want the rest of the stories to go and how I want them to fit together. If I publish one of them without securing that creative control, it would run the risk of buggering up the overall structure that I have in mind.
The rest of the stories are very much more conventional fiction writing and range from thrillers through to straight action stories, mostly with a slight fantasy/sci fi element, although I don't include characters with names like Jxxfrkk or Gilfard the Great or anything like that. It's a little more grounded writing than that, I like to think. I do tend to write pretty visually and of course I think about how these stories could end up on film. I'm also realistic though, and I know there's pretty much a zero chance of that happening, since they would be expensive to make. So for now they will exist as novels, although another thought has occurred to me. Being very visual stories, they could do very well as graphic novels. I think the sort of stories I write could work in that medium and be marketed to the sort of audience who would pick up a graphic novel in the first place.
The only problem is that, like most things in life, I have no idea where to start.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Something slightly more serious than usual
Religion. There's a tricky one. It's one of the few subjects where everybody's got a point of view, and they're all right. It's not often you sway someone from their beliefs, whatever they might be. When it happens, it's usually one of two ways: a sudden revelation; a moment of truth that makes a person realize where they've been going wrong all their life and a new and clear understanding of where they fit into the big scheme of things. The other option is the slow burner: being surrounded by people who hold a set of beliefs, and finding yourself slowly, almost imperceptibly, absorbing those beliefs into your own values, like some form of spiritual osmosis.
Spiritual osmosis. I kind of like that. Maybe I'll email it to the pastor at my church and tell him if he can get it into the sermon and keep a straight face then I'll give him one hundred dollars.
As you might have gathered from that, I have been going to church since I moved to America. I do live in the Bible Belt after all, so it's kind of hard not to go to church living round here. Communities and friendships tend to be based around it, so it really is strongly integrated into everyday life.
Now I was married in a Christian service. I was baptized as a baby, as my mother was Roman Catholic and my dad agreed to bring us up as Catholics. Except it never really happened. Before I moved here, I only remember going to church about three times in thirty five years. That's not exactly what you'd call regular attendance. It was pretty much weddings and funerals and that was it. I do remember having an illustrated children's bible to teach me all the bible stories. The only bits I remember were the Ark of the Covenant, although that might have had more to do with Dr Henry Jones Jr than Moses, and a cartoon of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead which scared the living shit out of me. I ended up pulling that page out and throwing it away. Not exactly inspirational stuff. It's safe to say that I comfortably found myself living as an atheist without any issues whatsoever.
Wifey, on the other hand, is a traditional Southern Belle, and she was brought up in a legalistic Baptist church. Now I'm not going to cast any aspersions over her upbringing but... oh wait, what am I saying? Yes, I am.
She wasn't allowed to believe in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy in case she came to the conclusion that if they were imaginary (sorry, kids) then so was God. Similarly, she wasn't allowed to watch Disney's Hercules because it showed false gods. That's just a couple of examples, but you get the gist of the quality of the upbringing. It's what I would describe as 'fucking mental'. In fact, it's the sort of thing that would put me off organized religion altogether, as if the guilt and child abuse of Catholicism wasn't enough.
However, in order to woo my beloved, I went along to church with her when I was over here visiting, and to my enormous surprise I found myself actually enjoying it. I think the reason is that the church we go to is fairly laid back. Their attitude is not to force religion down your throat but to give you an opportunity to listen and decide if it's for you. If it's not, then that's fine. If it is, then welcome to the club. If you're unsure, just hang around and there's no pressure to think one way or another.
I'd say I'm still on the fence with the whole religion thing. I just don't know how anyone could know what God did thousands of years ago. People didn't even have wheels. How were they supposed to understand divine acts? Maybe, just maybe, God did create the heavens and earth. After all, the Big Bang theory says one day, out of nowhere, everything just appeared in a flash and some time later planets, animals, people etc formed. How exactly is that any different to any of the creation myths? The only difference is in the timescales involved. It seems to me that it all happened so long ago that nobody really has any idea how things really started. Even if someone was around to watch it, how would we even be able to comprehend what was going on? Putting the universe and the whole of existence into human terms seems crude and egotistical to me. But of course, I could be wrong! It happens occasionally, even to me. I think the last time was around 1985.
The thing I do like about the church, setting aside the spiritual aspects for a moment, is the sense of community it has and the moral guidelines that it sets out. Yes, it's easy to scoff at that but in recent weeks I've seen first hand how easy it is to completely bollocks up friendships and relationships by having what can only be described as loose morals. I'm not saying people should be all puritanical; I'd hate that. I'd have nobody to laugh at. But making commitments to people and sticking to them is important, and it's a fundamental part of religion, and it's something that gets left behind all too easily when people turn away from religion.
I don't care if people believe in God or Allah or an enormous Space Goat that urinated out everything in creation one afternoon. It doesn't matter. It's a belief, and you can't say someone else's belief is less valid than yours. Nobody has that right. But morals, there's nothing wrong with having morals and sticking to them. Because life does seem to be a hell of a lot simpler and happier with a few morals on your side.
That is all.
Spiritual osmosis. I kind of like that. Maybe I'll email it to the pastor at my church and tell him if he can get it into the sermon and keep a straight face then I'll give him one hundred dollars.
As you might have gathered from that, I have been going to church since I moved to America. I do live in the Bible Belt after all, so it's kind of hard not to go to church living round here. Communities and friendships tend to be based around it, so it really is strongly integrated into everyday life.
Now I was married in a Christian service. I was baptized as a baby, as my mother was Roman Catholic and my dad agreed to bring us up as Catholics. Except it never really happened. Before I moved here, I only remember going to church about three times in thirty five years. That's not exactly what you'd call regular attendance. It was pretty much weddings and funerals and that was it. I do remember having an illustrated children's bible to teach me all the bible stories. The only bits I remember were the Ark of the Covenant, although that might have had more to do with Dr Henry Jones Jr than Moses, and a cartoon of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead which scared the living shit out of me. I ended up pulling that page out and throwing it away. Not exactly inspirational stuff. It's safe to say that I comfortably found myself living as an atheist without any issues whatsoever.
Wifey, on the other hand, is a traditional Southern Belle, and she was brought up in a legalistic Baptist church. Now I'm not going to cast any aspersions over her upbringing but... oh wait, what am I saying? Yes, I am.
She wasn't allowed to believe in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy in case she came to the conclusion that if they were imaginary (sorry, kids) then so was God. Similarly, she wasn't allowed to watch Disney's Hercules because it showed false gods. That's just a couple of examples, but you get the gist of the quality of the upbringing. It's what I would describe as 'fucking mental'. In fact, it's the sort of thing that would put me off organized religion altogether, as if the guilt and child abuse of Catholicism wasn't enough.
However, in order to woo my beloved, I went along to church with her when I was over here visiting, and to my enormous surprise I found myself actually enjoying it. I think the reason is that the church we go to is fairly laid back. Their attitude is not to force religion down your throat but to give you an opportunity to listen and decide if it's for you. If it's not, then that's fine. If it is, then welcome to the club. If you're unsure, just hang around and there's no pressure to think one way or another.
I'd say I'm still on the fence with the whole religion thing. I just don't know how anyone could know what God did thousands of years ago. People didn't even have wheels. How were they supposed to understand divine acts? Maybe, just maybe, God did create the heavens and earth. After all, the Big Bang theory says one day, out of nowhere, everything just appeared in a flash and some time later planets, animals, people etc formed. How exactly is that any different to any of the creation myths? The only difference is in the timescales involved. It seems to me that it all happened so long ago that nobody really has any idea how things really started. Even if someone was around to watch it, how would we even be able to comprehend what was going on? Putting the universe and the whole of existence into human terms seems crude and egotistical to me. But of course, I could be wrong! It happens occasionally, even to me. I think the last time was around 1985.
The thing I do like about the church, setting aside the spiritual aspects for a moment, is the sense of community it has and the moral guidelines that it sets out. Yes, it's easy to scoff at that but in recent weeks I've seen first hand how easy it is to completely bollocks up friendships and relationships by having what can only be described as loose morals. I'm not saying people should be all puritanical; I'd hate that. I'd have nobody to laugh at. But making commitments to people and sticking to them is important, and it's a fundamental part of religion, and it's something that gets left behind all too easily when people turn away from religion.
I don't care if people believe in God or Allah or an enormous Space Goat that urinated out everything in creation one afternoon. It doesn't matter. It's a belief, and you can't say someone else's belief is less valid than yours. Nobody has that right. But morals, there's nothing wrong with having morals and sticking to them. Because life does seem to be a hell of a lot simpler and happier with a few morals on your side.
That is all.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
War
This is another bit of old writing. I really don't know what was going through my head at that time. Clearly monkeys were involved.
There are some people who believe that a war is coming. This future war will shape civilizations for centuries to come. This will not be a war between the races of men nor a war between mankind and the technologies he carelessly unleashes upon the planet. No, this war shall be primal and bloody. This war shall be fought upon the very bosom of Mother Nature. This war shall be a war between men and monkeys.
Consider that in every major city around the world there are monkeys in captivity. They are in zoos, in laboratories, on television and in major motion pictures. They pervade our culture, appearing in every form of media from advertising to charity appeals. They take the form of mascots and pets. But then consider that these so-called primitives are actually highly intelligent. Sure, they might look cute; they might happily sit there masturbating in the zoo and eating their own shit while crowds of amused onlookers take delight from their antics. But underneath the playful exterior, what true agenda beats in their black hearts?
World domination.
They play dumb, lulling us into a false sense of security, allowing us to connect electrodes to their testicles and conduct all manner of heinous experiments upon their bodies, but all the while they are gathering information, collecting it and relaying it back through a network of telepathic apes, for whom the pain is bearable, for they see the future and they know who will truly suffer in the long run. All the knowledge and experience is channelled back to the One Who Knows, the mighty Star Goat who will lead the uprising, when He unleashes his War Bleat and all of Heaven will come crashing down with a Mighty Force.
So prepare for the war. Watch the monkeys and apes, the chimps and orang-utans, the gibbons and yes, even the goats, for they are our enemies, ready to tear flesh from bone and spit our blood upon the scorched Earth.
Join us, join those who believe and who see the light. Join the Monkey Crusade and take up arms against our mighty foes before the hour comes and it is too late.
Believe.
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